The Guys' Rules
----------------------
At last a guy has taken the time to
write this all down FINALLY, the
guys' side of the story. (I must admit,
it's pretty
good.)
We always hear "THE RULES" from the
female side.
Now here are the rules from the male
side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered
"1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are PERFECTLY Acceptable
answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if
you
want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months
is a PROBLEM.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and
void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria's Secret girls, DON'T Expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you
probably
are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the OTHER ONE.
1. You can either ask us to do
something
or tell us how you want it
done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say
whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need
directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
color! Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have NO idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
"nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want
an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...
REALLY.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking
about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
ROUND IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.