In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
Carl Sandburg
Nothing happens unless first we dream.
Carl Sandburg
Calling it off comes easy enough if you haven't told the girl you are smitten with her.
Carl Sandburg
The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring.
Carl Sandburg
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The fragility of life..
Before i start off.. i would like to just ask for a moment of silence and Al-Fatihah for ayah Sabriena.. who passed away yesterday morning.. May Allah bless him and shower his mercy on him.. Takziah kepada keluarga Sabrina dan Al Fatihah..
Selawat Azimiyah ( this i used as a shield previously , and for general daily use)
اَللّهُمَّ اِنِّيْ أَسْاَلُكَ بِنُوْرِ وَجْهِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ الَّذِي مَلأ أَرْكانَ عَرْشِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ وَقَاْمَتْ بِهِ عَوَاْلِمُ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ أَنْ تُصَلِّىَ عَلَى مَوْلانَا مُحَمَّدٍ ذِي الْقَدْرِ الْعَظِيْمِ وَعَلَى آلِ نَبِيِّ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ بِقَدْرِ عَظَمَةِ ذَاْتِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ فِيْ كُلِّ لَمْحَةٍ وَنَفَسٍ عَدَدَمَا فِيْ عِلْمِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ صَلاةً دَاْئِمَةً بِدَوَاْمِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ تَعْظِيْمًا لِحَقِّكَ يَا مَوْلانَا يَا مُحَمَّدُ يَا ذَا الْخُلُقِ الْعَظِيْمِ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ مِثْلَ ذَلِكَ وَاجْمَعْ بَيْنِىْ وَبَيْنَهُ كَمَا جَمَعْتَ بَيْنَ الرُّوْحِ وَالنَّفْسِ ظَاهِرًا وَبَاطِنًا يَقَظَةً وَمَنَامًا وَاجْعَلْهُ يَارَبِّ رُوْحًا لِذَاْتِىْ مِنْ جَمِيْعِ الْوُجُوْهِ فِى الدُّنْيَا قَبْلَ الأخِرَةِ يَا عَظِيْمُ
Dikatakan.. seseorang yang pergi menziarah si mati telah membaca selawat azimiyah x3 utk si mati.. pada malam itu , si mati mendatanginya dan mengucapkan terima kasih di atas 3 kuntum bunga yang telah dihadiahkan kepadanya..
Wallahuwa'lam..
- It was a shock to receive message from Cherap early in the morning regarding the passing, unfortunately i could only reply after i got off my shift.
- You would think that death would be less jarring for people who are involved in our line of work.. but the closer it strikes for me .. the more i am reminded regarding the fragility of our lives..
- We laugh
- We Cry
- We strive
- We look to our future
- We work like crazy
- But sometimes we forget.. that our ultimate destination is HIM..
I'm reminded of something that was told to me by a close friend..
He told me regarding the analogy of our lives here now..
Imagine a person walking in a middle of a dessert..
He goes through a vast dessert.. from one horizon to another horizon..
and right smack in the middle - there's a tree..
The traveller stops a while to catch his breath under the shade of the tree.. He collects his thoughts and he gets some rest and promptly moves on to finish his journey..
That is life.. that we hold so dear to..
We are mere mortals.. finding our way in life..
I've always asked this - how does "lived happily forever after " feels like?
Here now - our lives are bounded by time..
We grow up .. we have goals in our life.. We move forward.. and we grow old..
Eventually we'll die of old age..
We live probably an average of 60-70 years..
I'll probably be at the lower side of the average ..
Sometimes some of us don't live to see 40..
But do not be downhearted.. as that is not the end of the road..
Life is just the R&R station of our journey..
We leave our prized belongings and treasures.. We leave all the houses and mansions..
We leave all our Datukships and Titles..
The only things we bring are a piece of cloth and all the good that we've ever done and achieved in life..
I always hope that by the time God approves of a place for me in His grace ( by HIS blessing and immense mercy) .. that He will take me straight away..
To be honest..
I hope i will go suddenly .. either on a Friday.. or on Raya day or in a fire or drowning.. doing something good..
Without much fuss.. without burdening the living..
the concept is simple.. the more time i have.. there's more chances for me to screw it up..
I hope i will be given the chance to see my family and my good friends that i met in my life..
For now i continue with the hope that i am doing as He bids me to do..
I just hope i do as He wills it.. and that i am always in His grace..
Heck i'm not even ready for the questions..
I'm suddenly reminded of the trust that was put upon me a few years back.. I was asked to be the person untuk 'talkin'kan both my parents if indeed their time came.. i tried to dehumanize this request.. i try not to think of it.. but at the same time i try to prepare for it in any way possible.. i do not think i will ever be able to do so properly..
Wallahuwa'lam
Work as if you will live a thousand years.. Pray as if you're meeting you're Maker tomorrow..
This is not a killjoy post..
This is just a reminder..
More for me than anyone else..
This is just something to put things into perspective..
Do not forget who we are...and our purpose in life..
Sometimes we forget who we are.. and to Whom we are headed..
As Julius Caesar aptly put it..
Et Tu Bruti - Where to , Brutus?
Et Tu Iqbal Harris...
** Et Tu Brute - has many 'translation' it can also mean You too , Brutus? - however in this context i'm using it as above.. so don't spoil. it..
Al-Fatihah
Selawat Azimiyah ( this i used as a shield previously , and for general daily use)
اَللّهُمَّ اِنِّيْ أَسْاَلُكَ بِنُوْرِ وَجْهِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ الَّذِي مَلأ أَرْكانَ عَرْشِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ وَقَاْمَتْ بِهِ عَوَاْلِمُ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ أَنْ تُصَلِّىَ عَلَى مَوْلانَا مُحَمَّدٍ ذِي الْقَدْرِ الْعَظِيْمِ وَعَلَى آلِ نَبِيِّ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ بِقَدْرِ عَظَمَةِ ذَاْتِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ فِيْ كُلِّ لَمْحَةٍ وَنَفَسٍ عَدَدَمَا فِيْ عِلْمِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ صَلاةً دَاْئِمَةً بِدَوَاْمِ اللهِ الْعَظِيْمِ تَعْظِيْمًا لِحَقِّكَ يَا مَوْلانَا يَا مُحَمَّدُ يَا ذَا الْخُلُقِ الْعَظِيْمِ وَسَلِّمْ عَلَيْهِ وَعَلَى آلِهِ مِثْلَ ذَلِكَ وَاجْمَعْ بَيْنِىْ وَبَيْنَهُ كَمَا جَمَعْتَ بَيْنَ الرُّوْحِ وَالنَّفْسِ ظَاهِرًا وَبَاطِنًا يَقَظَةً وَمَنَامًا وَاجْعَلْهُ يَارَبِّ رُوْحًا لِذَاْتِىْ مِنْ جَمِيْعِ الْوُجُوْهِ فِى الدُّنْيَا قَبْلَ الأخِرَةِ يَا عَظِيْمُ
Ertinya:- Ya Allah! Sesungguhnya aku memohon kepadaMu dengan Nur Wajah Allah yang Maha Besar, yang memenuhi segala penjuru ‘Arasy Allah Yang Besar, dan dengannya berdiri seluruh alam Allah yang Agung. Moga Engkau berselawat ke atas penghulu kami Muhammad S.A.W yang mempunyai martabat yang agung dan ke atas keluarga Nabi Allah Yang Besar, dengan kadar kebesaran Zat Allah Yang Maha Besar, pada setiap kerlipan mata dan nafas sebanyak bilangan ilmu Allah Yag Maha Besar, dengan selawat yang berkekalan sebagaimana kekalnya Allah Yang Maha Besar, Penghormatan bagi Engkau wahai tuan kami, wahai Muhammad, wahai yang mempunyai akhlak yang besar (indah). Salam kesejahteraan daripadaMu ke atas keluarganya seperti yang demikian itu juga. Himpunkanlah di antara aku dan dia (Nabi Muhammad S.A.W ) sebagaimana Engkau menghimpunkan antara roh dan jasad, zahir dan batin sama ada ketika sedar atau tidur. Jadikanlah dia (Nabi Muhammad S.A.W ) wahai Tuhanku, roh bagi zatku daripada sekalian wajah (keadaan) di dalam dunia ini sebelum hari akhirat, wahai Allah yang Maha Besar.
Dikatakan.. seseorang yang pergi menziarah si mati telah membaca selawat azimiyah x3 utk si mati.. pada malam itu , si mati mendatanginya dan mengucapkan terima kasih di atas 3 kuntum bunga yang telah dihadiahkan kepadanya..
Wallahuwa'lam..
- It was a shock to receive message from Cherap early in the morning regarding the passing, unfortunately i could only reply after i got off my shift.
- You would think that death would be less jarring for people who are involved in our line of work.. but the closer it strikes for me .. the more i am reminded regarding the fragility of our lives..
- We laugh
- We Cry
- We strive
- We look to our future
- We work like crazy
- But sometimes we forget.. that our ultimate destination is HIM..
I'm reminded of something that was told to me by a close friend..
He told me regarding the analogy of our lives here now..
Imagine a person walking in a middle of a dessert..
He goes through a vast dessert.. from one horizon to another horizon..
and right smack in the middle - there's a tree..
The traveller stops a while to catch his breath under the shade of the tree.. He collects his thoughts and he gets some rest and promptly moves on to finish his journey..
That is life.. that we hold so dear to..
We are mere mortals.. finding our way in life..
I've always asked this - how does "lived happily forever after " feels like?
Here now - our lives are bounded by time..
We grow up .. we have goals in our life.. We move forward.. and we grow old..
Eventually we'll die of old age..
We live probably an average of 60-70 years..
I'll probably be at the lower side of the average ..
Sometimes some of us don't live to see 40..
But do not be downhearted.. as that is not the end of the road..
Life is just the R&R station of our journey..
We leave our prized belongings and treasures.. We leave all the houses and mansions..
We leave all our Datukships and Titles..
The only things we bring are a piece of cloth and all the good that we've ever done and achieved in life..
I always hope that by the time God approves of a place for me in His grace ( by HIS blessing and immense mercy) .. that He will take me straight away..
To be honest..
I hope i will go suddenly .. either on a Friday.. or on Raya day or in a fire or drowning.. doing something good..
Without much fuss.. without burdening the living..
the concept is simple.. the more time i have.. there's more chances for me to screw it up..
I hope i will be given the chance to see my family and my good friends that i met in my life..
For now i continue with the hope that i am doing as He bids me to do..
I just hope i do as He wills it.. and that i am always in His grace..
Heck i'm not even ready for the questions..
I'm suddenly reminded of the trust that was put upon me a few years back.. I was asked to be the person untuk 'talkin'kan both my parents if indeed their time came.. i tried to dehumanize this request.. i try not to think of it.. but at the same time i try to prepare for it in any way possible.. i do not think i will ever be able to do so properly..
Wallahuwa'lam
Work as if you will live a thousand years.. Pray as if you're meeting you're Maker tomorrow..
This is not a killjoy post..
This is just a reminder..
More for me than anyone else..
This is just something to put things into perspective..
Do not forget who we are...and our purpose in life..
Sometimes we forget who we are.. and to Whom we are headed..
As Julius Caesar aptly put it..
Et Tu Bruti - Where to , Brutus?
Et Tu Iqbal Harris...
** Et Tu Brute - has many 'translation' it can also mean You too , Brutus? - however in this context i'm using it as above.. so don't spoil. it..
Al-Fatihah
Can't stop listening to Elvis
Please don't get me wrong.. this song is not meant for any ungrateful person that i knew previously..
This is just music... good music..
Are You Lonesome Tonight - The King
This is just music... good music..
Are You Lonesome Tonight - The King
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Crash and hang.. and end of the road.. off with your head.. .
Well it's time for me to say goodbye to my phone finally...
too tired of it already..
my current phone is a nokia 3600 slide which has served me well..
My two main requirements of a phone are
1) Big keypads so that my stubby clumsy fingers can type an sms easily..
2) A blardy loud ringtone
shock resistant is a bonus - my phone falls about -2-3 times a month kot..
asides the fact that i can receive calls and send sms..
those are the 2 prerequisites that i need..
so probably i'm going to get something stupid as usual..
today my phone hanged for at least 6 times on the verge of me sending an sms.. everytime i received a sms.. i would have to delete about 6.0kbs of data.. which is about 6 SMS..
so when i tried to delete my inbox and sent items.. after 30 messages it hangs..
i have 7500 messages in my inbox and 6500 messages in my sent items folder..
tried deleting it manually- one by one.. after about 15 messages it also hangss...aaaaa what problem does technology has against me?
tried to settle someone financial transactions online.. was also speaking to a friend in miri just now.. our conversation was disrupted due to the bloody slow internet connection..
tried uploading my pictures from london.. a whole other stack of them... internet crashed about 10 times..
facebook is so damn slow..
the only thing that i can do is blog.. hampeh tul..
aaaaahhh screw this.. i'm off to watch how i met you mother.. internet connection.. please grow up.. i'll see you in 30 minutes..
haha barney stinson nothces up his 200th cap..
and ted meets stella again..
heck there goes my plans..
i was supposed to top up my debit card..
to pay my bills..
i'm ditching my credit card for now..
planning for a trip in january.. probably going to miri to see a friend there..
but we'll see how things pan out..
as even checking plane tickets sekarang pun tak boleh.. hampeh..
i'm getting an ipod touch probably by this week..
i'd like to separate my work from my games..
i'd really like to have a dedicated 'walkman' - something to keep my music and games on..
so that's why i'm going for 2 different things..
hahaha no need to save money maa.. =P
for now la..
yes i'm also getting a digi/celcom broadband.. my god.. the connection stinks.. aaaaahhhhh
i've not even been able to check my mail..
Monday, December 27, 2010
My resolution... finally
I'm Juiced...and i'm reading about pig latin.. ixnay upidstay..
It's 4.02am... it's the 27 th of December..
haha i'm too juiced up with orange juice.. can't seem to go to sleep.. still jet lagged..
i'm working the afternoon shift tomorrow.. my first shift as an MO..
heck i can't wait for it.. but i'm scared ..
at one point of time - resigning came across my mind.. to find my true calling ..
it was just too tiring at one point of time.. my quality of work slipped.. i became a grumpy person doh..
but after a sabbatical.. i've managed to get some semblance of clarity ..
there's probably a reason i'm here as a doctor.. walaupun cita2 awal2 nak jadi pemain bolasepak atau askar.. hahaha
there's a reason i'm on this road.. and for now.. i'll keep going..
haha hopefully all goes well..
i need to find out about my posting.. to which hospital i'm supposed to go..
my spiritual home seems nice to go back to..
sabah is off hopefully..
well anyway it's hard to get any posting if i've not written down anything yet and borang pun tak hantar lagi.. =)
hopefully dah ada posting.. so that i don't need to think about it..
i just want to leave ED now.. i hate the fact that you have to be a moocher@ass-kisser to be ahead in the department..
I loved it during surgery and orthopaedics..
HECK i loved it when i was in Medical..
i was recognised for my ability.. it was nice being wanted..
In Medical - i was reprimanded when i screwed up.. i was complemented when i did good.. haha zaman2 aku ngan Felix kena cubit dgn Dr Masni..
Well Orthopaedic- my first love .. it still has my love.. we'll see where the road leads me..
The first department to offer me was surgery.. Ms Rohana and Ms Sarina were the first to offer me a place in surgery.... at the time i was still a 4th poster .. dieorg siap suruh MO lain pujuk.. haha
Recently Mr. T offered Ortho too..
Anyway had a talk with Mr. Diat.. regarding my current choice.. he highly recommends it.. hopefully i get it insya-Allah..
i'm putting a stop to the weird stuff that 's been happening..
at least the burden of guilt has been lessened after talking it out again.. sms chatting apa2 la..
pushing aside netbal.. my crushes.. my rebounds..
i talked(chatted) it all out with a few friends from the south and the east..
it's time to move on..
it is just time to learn how to stand..
nothing too fast..
small steps..
probably i was just preoccupied with exklasmate..
to stop rebounding.. and focus my priorities.. to get my priorities right..
to grow up already..
that's enough wallowing..
the rain should stop now..
I hate the rain.. because when it rains.. the ones who are close to me get rained on..
so stop raining already..
I wouldn't think it's been pleasant to be around me for the past 2 months..
i'm sorry guys and girls..
i just want to be able to stop talking about it if it's possible..
To stop whining and to stop cursing my luck..
A lot of possibilities lay ahead.. but for now.. we'll just go with the small ones shall we?
I've come to the realization that.. i do not like to be told what to do , who to meet , who to like , especially by people who do not really know and understand who i am..
I feel that i've compromised too much at times.. never pushing my agenda..
this is just not directed to a single person .. this is in general..
It's good being nice and everything..
i've given way.. i've become too nice at times.. too selfless..
i do not need someone to decide things for me ..
i'm perfectly capable of choosing my own path in life..
It was sad and embarrassing to look back at my bargaining and denial period..
What was more sad was the realization that my dreams was based on someone else's dreams..
You know it was sad that i bargained so hard.. trying to open the door if that person ever wanted to return.. that was pitiful.. now i will close that door
They say never say never..
But i say this.. NEVER AGAIN WILL THAT HAPPEN
For now any shared dreams will wait..
I need my dreams now...
I always believe you are who you choose to be..
You decide who you are..
It's plain lazy to just say.. ohh i was destined to be a bad person.. so be it..
that's bullshit..
everything is about choices..
We are the masters of our destinies.. we are who we choose to be.. nothing is set in stone..
in the sense that you have a lot of possibilities dependent on your choices..
No one is ever really destined for heaven or hell
That's why it's called a test..
To see how you have lived...
We plan.. and hopefully God decides in your favour..
had a talk with Abbas recently... 3 hours of christmas supper .. apparently Mr. T tanya bile nak masuk ortho.. i would jump on the opportunity to go now.. even though staying in putrajaya would be ideal.. with a good friend..
but for very clear reasons i think staying in putrajaya is very untenable..
i would like to move out.. hopefully ..
i don't need the sympathy.. i don't need the stares
i don't bloody need the questions..
need space.. need to be somewhere unknown..
need to start over..
heck it's scary.. but so what..
Even though i don't LOVE love Metallica..
but let me take a paragraph from them ...
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are..
And nothing else matters..
Amscray!!!
Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly
Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die
And I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of lying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
I think I'm done nursing patience
It couldn't wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright...
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
Make my way back home when I learn to
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life (sign of life)
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying (tired of trying)
Make my way back home when I learn to
And I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life (sign of life)
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
Make my way back home when I learn to (Learn to, learn to, learn, to learn to)
It's 4.02am... it's the 27 th of December..
haha i'm too juiced up with orange juice.. can't seem to go to sleep.. still jet lagged..
i'm working the afternoon shift tomorrow.. my first shift as an MO..
heck i can't wait for it.. but i'm scared ..
at one point of time - resigning came across my mind.. to find my true calling ..
it was just too tiring at one point of time.. my quality of work slipped.. i became a grumpy person doh..
but after a sabbatical.. i've managed to get some semblance of clarity ..
there's probably a reason i'm here as a doctor.. walaupun cita2 awal2 nak jadi pemain bolasepak atau askar.. hahaha
there's a reason i'm on this road.. and for now.. i'll keep going..
haha hopefully all goes well..
i need to find out about my posting.. to which hospital i'm supposed to go..
my spiritual home seems nice to go back to..
sabah is off hopefully..
well anyway it's hard to get any posting if i've not written down anything yet and borang pun tak hantar lagi.. =)
hopefully dah ada posting.. so that i don't need to think about it..
i just want to leave ED now.. i hate the fact that you have to be a moocher@ass-kisser to be ahead in the department..
I loved it during surgery and orthopaedics..
HECK i loved it when i was in Medical..
i was recognised for my ability.. it was nice being wanted..
In Medical - i was reprimanded when i screwed up.. i was complemented when i did good.. haha zaman2 aku ngan Felix kena cubit dgn Dr Masni..
Well Orthopaedic- my first love .. it still has my love.. we'll see where the road leads me..
The first department to offer me was surgery.. Ms Rohana and Ms Sarina were the first to offer me a place in surgery.... at the time i was still a 4th poster .. dieorg siap suruh MO lain pujuk.. haha
Recently Mr. T offered Ortho too..
Anyway had a talk with Mr. Diat.. regarding my current choice.. he highly recommends it.. hopefully i get it insya-Allah..
i'm putting a stop to the weird stuff that 's been happening..
at least the burden of guilt has been lessened after talking it out again.. sms chatting apa2 la..
pushing aside netbal.. my crushes.. my rebounds..
i talked(chatted) it all out with a few friends from the south and the east..
it's time to move on..
it is just time to learn how to stand..
nothing too fast..
small steps..
probably i was just preoccupied with exklasmate..
to stop rebounding.. and focus my priorities.. to get my priorities right..
to grow up already..
that's enough wallowing..
the rain should stop now..
I hate the rain.. because when it rains.. the ones who are close to me get rained on..
so stop raining already..
I wouldn't think it's been pleasant to be around me for the past 2 months..
i'm sorry guys and girls..
i just want to be able to stop talking about it if it's possible..
To stop whining and to stop cursing my luck..
A lot of possibilities lay ahead.. but for now.. we'll just go with the small ones shall we?
I've come to the realization that.. i do not like to be told what to do , who to meet , who to like , especially by people who do not really know and understand who i am..
I feel that i've compromised too much at times.. never pushing my agenda..
this is just not directed to a single person .. this is in general..
It's good being nice and everything..
i've given way.. i've become too nice at times.. too selfless..
i do not need someone to decide things for me ..
i'm perfectly capable of choosing my own path in life..
It was sad and embarrassing to look back at my bargaining and denial period..
What was more sad was the realization that my dreams was based on someone else's dreams..
You know it was sad that i bargained so hard.. trying to open the door if that person ever wanted to return.. that was pitiful.. now i will close that door
They say never say never..
But i say this.. NEVER AGAIN WILL THAT HAPPEN
For now any shared dreams will wait..
I need my dreams now...
I always believe you are who you choose to be..
You decide who you are..
It's plain lazy to just say.. ohh i was destined to be a bad person.. so be it..
that's bullshit..
everything is about choices..
We are the masters of our destinies.. we are who we choose to be.. nothing is set in stone..
in the sense that you have a lot of possibilities dependent on your choices..
No one is ever really destined for heaven or hell
That's why it's called a test..
To see how you have lived...
We plan.. and hopefully God decides in your favour..
had a talk with Abbas recently... 3 hours of christmas supper .. apparently Mr. T tanya bile nak masuk ortho.. i would jump on the opportunity to go now.. even though staying in putrajaya would be ideal.. with a good friend..
but for very clear reasons i think staying in putrajaya is very untenable..
i would like to move out.. hopefully ..
i don't need the sympathy.. i don't need the stares
i don't bloody need the questions..
need space.. need to be somewhere unknown..
need to start over..
heck it's scary.. but so what..
Even though i don't LOVE love Metallica..
but let me take a paragraph from them ...
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are..
And nothing else matters..
Amscray!!!
Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly
Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die
And I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of lying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
I think I'm done nursing patience
It couldn't wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell the angels that everything is alright...
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
Make my way back home when I learn to
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try to make this life my own
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life (sign of life)
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying (tired of trying)
Make my way back home when I learn to
And I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life (sign of life)
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of trying
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
Make my way back home when I learn to (Learn to, learn to, learn, to learn to)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Night walker tips..
hmmm tetiba out of the blue nak tulis pasal nightwalks..
this doesn't really cover jungle trekking.. which i don't have a lot of experience with..
i loved my time masa kat jasin and to a lesser degree in banting..
i don't know but there's something exhilarating about doing night walks..
maybe it's the fact that you there wasn't any curfew..
i usually did it during my time masa dkt jasin
Tips -
1) Dress light - dress to run - dress to minimize sound.. ditch the windbreaker.. bapak noisy nak mampus.. pick proper footwear..
2) Make sure you don't keep a lot of things in your pckets.. if ada.. ditch them..
3) Go with someone you trust.. i've tried doing it alone.. hmmm agak sial la gak outcome die.. we did once in jasin.. split up at one point of time.. got disturbed multiple times.. kena tap kat bahu la.. kena kejar la.. cilakak tul..
4) Wear sandals - the one with the straps.. you can't really explain why you're wearing shoes
5) A torchlight is helpful but it announces that you're there.. so think before using it
6) If you're doing it for fun.. pick a cloudless night.. it helps with visibility..
7) Know your surroundings.. i remember during the end of spm.. Me , Zaizul , Ameer, Baras, Mawardi, Zakuan, Bal Di,
dok rajin2 la main mercun at our basketball court.. when suddenly 2 guards came lunging at us out of nowhere.. we ran like hell... everyone knew where was a good hiding spot.. unfortunately for me and zaizul.. we jumped a flight of stairs from the basketball court to the rugby field - which is about > 20 steps.. into a lush overgrowth of very sharp weeds.. haha had to keep quiet then for 10 minutes as the guards were still looking for us..
8) Three is a crowd.. two is just nice.. one is fine if you're up to it.. it takes a lot though..
9) Shut up and listen.. talk only when it's safe..
10) Let me tell you - if you're scared.. the guard who finds you will probably be also damn scared - especially the more younger ones.. they tend to close their eyes as diaorang pun takut..
11) Not sure if this applies - but if you're being chased.. don't go for open areas -that's just suicide.. i remember being chased by Ustaz Rasdi on his motorbike - dekat our classes area.. cipan tul.. thank god banyak tempat nak menyorok..
12) Be aware of your surroundings.. but not too aware.. don't expect to turn around and find a langsuir or pontianak.. you'll piss in your pants if you think that.. think happy thoughts.. ahha
13) Don't do it on a school night.. you'll get tired easily.. studies are more important.. this is just supposed to be on the side activities sahaja.
14) If you see something weird - hmm just ignore it if it's not 'human' , you'll usually find a lot of weird things.. water taps turning on all of the sudden, sounds of tables and chairs moving on its own.. well there was this one time we saw a girl wondering around class.. tgk2 ada kaki.. halau balik.. the best part is.. the next day she and someone else confirmed she was in her block the whole night..
15) Mulut jangan cabul.. cannot say this enough.. anytime a night walk becomes weird is when someone says something out of line
16) I've noticed that.. people who are too brave get disturbed.. people who are too frightened get distrubed.. so probably strike a balance between fear and courage - if that's even possible..
17) A stick may be helpful.. don't bring a baseball bat or anything. just a little stick.. cam penyapu kayu.. and please nothing sharp.. you can't explain those things when you get caught..
18 ) Keep cool when you're caught.. i was caught once - by the head warden.. die lagi bengong.. jalan malam2 tak pakai selipar.. heh at the time i had a blanket.. just cakap kat die.. err saya baru balik dari blok sebelah.. haha tapi malam tuh kena gak interrogate after that - as someone was beaten that night.. me and zakuan kene suspect.. hampeh..
that was the last night of form 4.. the night when we were initiated by our seniors..
I remember Syis , Shahza- my dorm captain , Bob , Nizam -senior silat aku , Kuang-BWP and there was another one.. tak ingat la pulak.. that night incidentally a person from my batch was beaten up by 10 people..they threw a blanket and started kicking the life out of him... hmm sepertia biasa la kene roll call 2 jam dekat tgh2 padang.. no one ever fessed up to who did it..
Off all my seniors, yg paling ganas i would put is Shahza..
19) Never ever ever bring anything that will implicate yourself.. jgn la nak bawak buku latihan ke apa.. ngada2..
20) Don't panic if you come across anything weird.. a few of us came to face to face with a few things.. er.. don't stare at it..just move on.. don't look at the eyes.. we usually try to.. er.. berlagak bersahaja.. kalu mungkin la kan.. hahahah
baca ayat kursi before and after.. a night walk..
I did it a few times in banting.. miraculously .. as the security in banting is a bit more the tighter..
the only 2 eagles that were there were me and ameer.. so naturally aku ngan die je le yg pi at the time.. yg lain semua skema sikit.. baik duduk kat dorm after 10.00p.m. ke 11.00p.m. i can't remember..
i remember we slipped out into the jogging path from the canteen area once the rang bell to go back to our dorm.. we circled back to the football field - then to the jogging path..
just walking doing nothing.. stopping for short conversations..
sat down at the pavillion for maybe a half hour.. i can't say why i liked doing this.. maybe it was the calm - jumping to the panic in a split second..
well anyway banting is not challenging.. unless kalo nak pegi blok perempuan la.. haha i still remember stick at the back of block C with ezran and macho.. suddenly 2 guys ran past us down the road and hot on their heels were about 10-15 girls with sticks and brooms.. haha lawak2.. heck we also went on our way in case if they mistake us for those two guys..
I remember doing night walks for the juniors when we were selecting eagles then..
i think there were six.. each one of us was able to nominate at least 1.. we would usually pick a mix of them.. some in the student body , some in the disciplinary board, dorm captains and some would just be unknowns.. as long as they had the right attitude..
1- ijad - he was the first one - totally unknown- he was from a mini mrsm - tak sure mana KK or Terendak
2- palong - loudmouth.. gets along with a lot of people - friendly person
3- ariff - i was the one who selected him - budak MRSM KK previously if i'm not mistaken - low profile- knew him through usrah - kaki komik cam aku gak..
4- kembar mawardi- heck nama pun aku tk ingat.. dorm captain block D- quiet person..
it was a very bad year to pick new candidates.. yg skema skema sangat.. yg jahat.. jahat cam cilake.. quite a few bad apples.. a busy year then.. with spm and what not..
never ever ever ever hit someone unless they hit you first.. than it's justified..
we get into our fair share of 'fights' but nothing big.. somehow we stopped a lot of fights boiling over.. if that's logical..
can't really remember having a real good fight.. byk near fights.. haha
My god those years were full of angst..
I recall ramai junior yg kene ngan aku.. ramai kene tunjah kot.. tunjah ngan penyapu.. tunjah ngan jari.. yg selalu kena.. kuren, ambro, pantera, tariq, tahle tak ingat dah sape nama2 diaorg nih.. but i remember the panic when they get caught..
oh ye che nas.. penah ugut aku ngan baras nak pukul kalu kitorang turun kl.. nak suruh abg die tembak kitaorang( apparently he was a cop) .. hmm we didn't really care .. it was weird being threatened by someone half your size.. anyway sampai sekarang tak kena tembak lagi :P
hahaha empty threats..
those are the 4 junior eagles that i remember.. i think there's another one or two.. can't seem to remember.. it's been 8-9 years.. wonder how they're doing though..
i remember their initiation test though..
it was more of macam conflict management probably..
the person who nominated them would bring them to the pavillion- which is very2 far away from somewhere.. then the rest of us would be there to ambush us.. we would probably just slip away and see how the person reacts.. to see.. whether fight or flight wins.. with all of them and us.. fight wins..
haha i remember 1 time i was walking down to the pavillion.. we came across some people from IKM - from next door - bringing beberapa biji durian tgh melantak.. siap offer lagi..
It was so hard to pick a good night to do these night walks.. if it's raining.. better not.. especially in jasin.. we have a vast collection of animals.. snakes, scorpions, penah jumpe musang sekali, ayam hutan, budak perempuan pakai baju gaun putih,
It was probably the calm of the night, the hunger for the chase, the adrenaline rush of being chased , the starry nights , the vastness of the night, the company of good friends, the long nonsensical conversations at the pavilion, the fact that boys will be boys..
These are the things i miss about night walks..
Haha i was an insomniac back then.. still probably an insomniac lagi..
This post would probably not be of any benefit to anyone.. but heck it beats raining on my parade any day of the year.. at least i can talk about something else..
Haha so live with it..
Signing off..
this doesn't really cover jungle trekking.. which i don't have a lot of experience with..
i loved my time masa kat jasin and to a lesser degree in banting..
i don't know but there's something exhilarating about doing night walks..
maybe it's the fact that you there wasn't any curfew..
i usually did it during my time masa dkt jasin
Tips -
1) Dress light - dress to run - dress to minimize sound.. ditch the windbreaker.. bapak noisy nak mampus.. pick proper footwear..
2) Make sure you don't keep a lot of things in your pckets.. if ada.. ditch them..
3) Go with someone you trust.. i've tried doing it alone.. hmmm agak sial la gak outcome die.. we did once in jasin.. split up at one point of time.. got disturbed multiple times.. kena tap kat bahu la.. kena kejar la.. cilakak tul..
4) Wear sandals - the one with the straps.. you can't really explain why you're wearing shoes
5) A torchlight is helpful but it announces that you're there.. so think before using it
6) If you're doing it for fun.. pick a cloudless night.. it helps with visibility..
7) Know your surroundings.. i remember during the end of spm.. Me , Zaizul , Ameer, Baras, Mawardi, Zakuan, Bal Di,
dok rajin2 la main mercun at our basketball court.. when suddenly 2 guards came lunging at us out of nowhere.. we ran like hell... everyone knew where was a good hiding spot.. unfortunately for me and zaizul.. we jumped a flight of stairs from the basketball court to the rugby field - which is about > 20 steps.. into a lush overgrowth of very sharp weeds.. haha had to keep quiet then for 10 minutes as the guards were still looking for us..
8) Three is a crowd.. two is just nice.. one is fine if you're up to it.. it takes a lot though..
9) Shut up and listen.. talk only when it's safe..
10) Let me tell you - if you're scared.. the guard who finds you will probably be also damn scared - especially the more younger ones.. they tend to close their eyes as diaorang pun takut..
11) Not sure if this applies - but if you're being chased.. don't go for open areas -that's just suicide.. i remember being chased by Ustaz Rasdi on his motorbike - dekat our classes area.. cipan tul.. thank god banyak tempat nak menyorok..
12) Be aware of your surroundings.. but not too aware.. don't expect to turn around and find a langsuir or pontianak.. you'll piss in your pants if you think that.. think happy thoughts.. ahha
13) Don't do it on a school night.. you'll get tired easily.. studies are more important.. this is just supposed to be on the side activities sahaja.
14) If you see something weird - hmm just ignore it if it's not 'human' , you'll usually find a lot of weird things.. water taps turning on all of the sudden, sounds of tables and chairs moving on its own.. well there was this one time we saw a girl wondering around class.. tgk2 ada kaki.. halau balik.. the best part is.. the next day she and someone else confirmed she was in her block the whole night..
15) Mulut jangan cabul.. cannot say this enough.. anytime a night walk becomes weird is when someone says something out of line
16) I've noticed that.. people who are too brave get disturbed.. people who are too frightened get distrubed.. so probably strike a balance between fear and courage - if that's even possible..
17) A stick may be helpful.. don't bring a baseball bat or anything. just a little stick.. cam penyapu kayu.. and please nothing sharp.. you can't explain those things when you get caught..
18 ) Keep cool when you're caught.. i was caught once - by the head warden.. die lagi bengong.. jalan malam2 tak pakai selipar.. heh at the time i had a blanket.. just cakap kat die.. err saya baru balik dari blok sebelah.. haha tapi malam tuh kena gak interrogate after that - as someone was beaten that night.. me and zakuan kene suspect.. hampeh..
that was the last night of form 4.. the night when we were initiated by our seniors..
I remember Syis , Shahza- my dorm captain , Bob , Nizam -senior silat aku , Kuang-BWP and there was another one.. tak ingat la pulak.. that night incidentally a person from my batch was beaten up by 10 people..they threw a blanket and started kicking the life out of him... hmm sepertia biasa la kene roll call 2 jam dekat tgh2 padang.. no one ever fessed up to who did it..
Off all my seniors, yg paling ganas i would put is Shahza..
19) Never ever ever bring anything that will implicate yourself.. jgn la nak bawak buku latihan ke apa.. ngada2..
20) Don't panic if you come across anything weird.. a few of us came to face to face with a few things.. er.. don't stare at it..just move on.. don't look at the eyes.. we usually try to.. er.. berlagak bersahaja.. kalu mungkin la kan.. hahahah
baca ayat kursi before and after.. a night walk..
I did it a few times in banting.. miraculously .. as the security in banting is a bit more the tighter..
the only 2 eagles that were there were me and ameer.. so naturally aku ngan die je le yg pi at the time.. yg lain semua skema sikit.. baik duduk kat dorm after 10.00p.m. ke 11.00p.m. i can't remember..
i remember we slipped out into the jogging path from the canteen area once the rang bell to go back to our dorm.. we circled back to the football field - then to the jogging path..
just walking doing nothing.. stopping for short conversations..
sat down at the pavillion for maybe a half hour.. i can't say why i liked doing this.. maybe it was the calm - jumping to the panic in a split second..
well anyway banting is not challenging.. unless kalo nak pegi blok perempuan la.. haha i still remember stick at the back of block C with ezran and macho.. suddenly 2 guys ran past us down the road and hot on their heels were about 10-15 girls with sticks and brooms.. haha lawak2.. heck we also went on our way in case if they mistake us for those two guys..
I remember doing night walks for the juniors when we were selecting eagles then..
i think there were six.. each one of us was able to nominate at least 1.. we would usually pick a mix of them.. some in the student body , some in the disciplinary board, dorm captains and some would just be unknowns.. as long as they had the right attitude..
1- ijad - he was the first one - totally unknown- he was from a mini mrsm - tak sure mana KK or Terendak
2- palong - loudmouth.. gets along with a lot of people - friendly person
3- ariff - i was the one who selected him - budak MRSM KK previously if i'm not mistaken - low profile- knew him through usrah - kaki komik cam aku gak..
4- kembar mawardi- heck nama pun aku tk ingat.. dorm captain block D- quiet person..
it was a very bad year to pick new candidates.. yg skema skema sangat.. yg jahat.. jahat cam cilake.. quite a few bad apples.. a busy year then.. with spm and what not..
never ever ever ever hit someone unless they hit you first.. than it's justified..
we get into our fair share of 'fights' but nothing big.. somehow we stopped a lot of fights boiling over.. if that's logical..
can't really remember having a real good fight.. byk near fights.. haha
My god those years were full of angst..
I recall ramai junior yg kene ngan aku.. ramai kene tunjah kot.. tunjah ngan penyapu.. tunjah ngan jari.. yg selalu kena.. kuren, ambro, pantera, tariq, tahle tak ingat dah sape nama2 diaorg nih.. but i remember the panic when they get caught..
oh ye che nas.. penah ugut aku ngan baras nak pukul kalu kitorang turun kl.. nak suruh abg die tembak kitaorang( apparently he was a cop) .. hmm we didn't really care .. it was weird being threatened by someone half your size.. anyway sampai sekarang tak kena tembak lagi :P
hahaha empty threats..
those are the 4 junior eagles that i remember.. i think there's another one or two.. can't seem to remember.. it's been 8-9 years.. wonder how they're doing though..
i remember their initiation test though..
it was more of macam conflict management probably..
the person who nominated them would bring them to the pavillion- which is very2 far away from somewhere.. then the rest of us would be there to ambush us.. we would probably just slip away and see how the person reacts.. to see.. whether fight or flight wins.. with all of them and us.. fight wins..
haha i remember 1 time i was walking down to the pavillion.. we came across some people from IKM - from next door - bringing beberapa biji durian tgh melantak.. siap offer lagi..
It was so hard to pick a good night to do these night walks.. if it's raining.. better not.. especially in jasin.. we have a vast collection of animals.. snakes, scorpions, penah jumpe musang sekali, ayam hutan, budak perempuan pakai baju gaun putih,
It was probably the calm of the night, the hunger for the chase, the adrenaline rush of being chased , the starry nights , the vastness of the night, the company of good friends, the long nonsensical conversations at the pavilion, the fact that boys will be boys..
These are the things i miss about night walks..
Haha i was an insomniac back then.. still probably an insomniac lagi..
This post would probably not be of any benefit to anyone.. but heck it beats raining on my parade any day of the year.. at least i can talk about something else..
Haha so live with it..
Signing off..
Addicted to fuel... and stone temple pilots.. to bon jovi.. to radiohead.. to oleander.. to saujana.. to mishari rashid al-afasy to raihan.. to music
There's something shoko asahara-ish about their voices..
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Falls on me..
this was very hard to find.. the original Fuel vocalist - Brett Scallions singing falls on me..
enjoy..
p/s- him singing is almost similar to studio version quality -unless die lip sync.
Falls on Me by Fuel..
I've seen you hanging round
This darkness where I'm bound
And this black hole I've dug for me
And silently within
With hands touching skin
The shock breaks my disease
And I can breathe
[Chorus]
And all of your weight
All you dream
Falls on me it falls on me
And your beautiful sky
The light you bring
Falls on me it falls on me
Your faith like the pain
Draws me in again
She washes all my wounds for me
The darkness in my veins
I never could explain
And I wonder if you ever see
Will you still believe?
[Chorus]
Am I that strong
To carry on?
I might change your life
I might save my world
Could you save me?
enjoy..
p/s- him singing is almost similar to studio version quality -unless die lip sync.
Falls on Me by Fuel..
I've seen you hanging round
This darkness where I'm bound
And this black hole I've dug for me
And silently within
With hands touching skin
The shock breaks my disease
And I can breathe
[Chorus]
And all of your weight
All you dream
Falls on me it falls on me
And your beautiful sky
The light you bring
Falls on me it falls on me
Your faith like the pain
Draws me in again
She washes all my wounds for me
The darkness in my veins
I never could explain
And I wonder if you ever see
Will you still believe?
[Chorus]
Am I that strong
To carry on?
I might change your life
I might save my world
Could you save me?
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
My Mixed tape @ DVD versi 2
oleh sebab ada komplen dari mereka2 yg komputer slow..
this is my mixed tape.. in text form and the links..
here again.. in particular order..
enjoy...
The Beatles - Yesterday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNnaxGFO18o&feature=player_embedded
Puddle of Mudd - Blurry ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIHSUJr5jeM&feature=player_embedded
Nat King Cole - Fly Me To the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5EUcYw96us&feature=player_embedded
Frank Sinatra - Fly Me To the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C5twY6f-rU&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - Lithium ( Live)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8y5ibUBw1k&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - Rape Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCS14PoQc2M&feature=player_embedded
Bon Jovi - Always
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzMeG4s8AGA&feature=player_embedded
Staind - Right Here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQPfGMF80Kg&feature=player_embedded
Howie Day - Collide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eip5wOd7t8&feature=player_embedded
Al-Ghasiyah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH8jGEvRHp4&feature=player_embedded
Guns N Roses - November Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE&feature=player_embedded
Carlos Santana - Black Magic Woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPo9Gd2z6rI&feature=player_embedded
Louie Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVG80vqVfSA&feature=player_embedded
Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dwuzqF6huc&feature=player_embedded
Seether Ft Amy Lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqd2FJF8-h8&feature=player_embedded
Papa Roach - Scars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dIGMnzLrgA&feature=player_embedded
100 Days with Mr Arrogant - OST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAv6wIVVwl8&feature=player_embedded
Buddy Holly - Raining in My Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLeZof1wGps&feature=player_embedded
Hijjaz - Fatamorgana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCk1EVuh0sU&feature=player_embedded
Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bf2w5wbLwjU&feature=player_embedded
Johnny Cash - Hurt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSWTgLvxPYc&feature=player_embedded
Eminem - Sing For The Moment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4hAVemuQXY&feature=player_embedded
Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc954nt-7Io&feature=player_embedded
Scorpions - I'm Still Loving You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC_hcwXboyA&feature=player_embedded
Awie - Bernafas Dalam Lumpur
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJPchckVIo&feature=player_embedded
Queen - Another One Bites The Dust
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJPchckVIo&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fregObNcHC8&feature=player_embedded
Gary Jules - Mad World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4&feature=player_embedded
Frank Sinatra - My Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aht9hcDFyVw&feature=player_embedded
Goo Goo Dolls- Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHaBc0sLwE0&feature=player_embedded
Daft Punk ft Kanye West - Stronger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYTaGxOuURU&feature=player_embedded
Kris Allen - Heartless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGJGTdhbGEM&feature=player_embedded
U2 - With or Without You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzeDqRhM09w&feature=player_embedded
The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22PE-l1ZQW8&feature=player_embedded
The Rolling Stones - Paint it Black - kene tgk Mick Jagger menari.. sphagetti legs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9DDpmyPZZA&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Egt1Hq4wpE - better audio
Michael Jackson - You're Not ALone
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xeq8i_michael-jackson-you-are-not-alone_news#from=embed
Gun N Roses- Don't Cry ( Original version )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctUuitkLmu4&feature=player_embedded
Bill Withers- Ain't No Sunshine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo&feature=player_embedded
Pink - So What
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaz5tGl5Yho&feature=player_embedded
Mika - Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sknDfB3pJB8
Staind - Everything Changes ( Acoustic )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9ZrbKY6xzU&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - Say ( All I Need )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRSZpV6WIuU&feature=player_embedded
Chris Daughtry - What About Now ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v-ruEvB8Jc&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - All Apologies ( Unplugged)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmkuH1k7uA&feature=player_embedded
All American Rejects - It Ends Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QApWTB6-CM&feature=player_embedded
The Cardigans - Lovefool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9zpnLBtwwg&feature=player_embedded
Exists - Kapal Terbang Kertas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF_P7N-FRG4&feature=player_embedded
Take That - Back For Good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5cLExchcn4&feature=player_embedded
Carlos Santana - ft Steve Tyler - Just Feel Better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P81yEdJy3fo&feature=player_embedded
Andy Williams - Speak Softly Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQBW6G0hSrs&feature=player_embedded
Mr. Big - To Be With You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cCVmMLFI2U&feature=player_embedded
Wings - Sejati
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLau51dJMrc&feature=player_embedded
The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy , He's My Brother
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1KtScrqtbc&feature=player_embedded
Kawashima Ai - Bye Bye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thBIAdFY0uY&feature=player_embedded
Mr. Big - Wild World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31k_DB8KVQM&feature=player_embedded
Search - Kejora
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yFAxrqHoy0&feature=player_embedded
UB40 - Can't Help Falling in Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajp0Uaw4rqo&feature=player_embedded
Jennifer Paige - Crush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj5S1RCUDvM&feature=player_embedded
Snow Patrol - Run
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOBs8dU4Pb8&feature=player_embedded
Midnight Hour - Running Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVDkiq6c49s&feature=player_embedded
Oleander - Halo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=web5LDTQ2-Q&feature=player_embedded
Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTy6UMC2TEU&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Berhenti Berharap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25E_NZpQrkg&feature=player_embedded
Blues Brothers - Everybody Needs Somebody ( To Love)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAG8iD-XS44&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Sahabat Sejatiku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G78L5kN1Ydk&feature=player_embedded
Peterpan - Kukatakan Dengan Indah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGjIQ8-0UQ8&feature=player_embedded
Elvis Presley - You'll Never Walk Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28Fsi9kwzps&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7- Jangan Beritahu Niah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLbq0EYPhpE&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Waktu Yang Tepat Untuk Berpisah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRNkjzVouKM&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - All the Right Moves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrOeGCJdZe4&feature=player_embedded
Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edRnjGPJGo0&feature=player_embedded
Indigo - Istimewa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNGEca7X9dQ&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - Secrets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr3dA9LWL3Y&feature=player_embedded
Creed- One Last Breath
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-yXPPFyG0A&feature=player_embedded
Ben E. King - Stand By Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg7YoXiKn0&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - Stop and Stare ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsK5sf_82rk&feature=player_embedded
Kid Rock - Only God Knows Why
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DQup4hd1_o&feature=player_embedded
P. Ramlee - Getaran Jiwa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PdoelbBKi8&feature=player_embedded
Aerosmith - Dream On
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Qd9VR1gD8&feature=player_embedded
Staind - So Far Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRRnU8VzOok&feature=player_embedded
Merril Bainbridge - Mouth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YIIM1EVDqg&feature=player_embedded
Ayumi Hamasaki - Still Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVCoyMGZ3ro&feature=player_embedded
Sixpence none the richer - Don't Dream It's Over
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bdOefF_tyU&feature=player_embedded
Foo Fighters - Walking After You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WATKvSg69WY&feature=player_embedded
Raihan - Iktiraf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5m0DsoJ4wY&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Buat Aku Tersenyum
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5TtWPgZNyM&feature=player_embedded
Our Lady Peace - Somewhere out There
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15gly_our-lady-peace-somewhere-out-there_music#from=embed
All American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZg-YXZjptI&feature=player_embedded
Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fJFtYaJptY&feature=player_embedded
Lifehouse - You and Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDYUb5wWXyk&feature=player_embedded
The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6j4TGqVl5g&feature=player_embedded
Sixpence None The Richer - There She Goes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTbNTe5gZLo&feature=player_embedded
Uncle Kracker - Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt07gzG4rfs&feature=player_embedded
Stevie Wonder - I Believe ( When I Fall In Love)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H--_-gPX3Nw&feature=player_embedded
Everly Brothers - All I Have To Do Is Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uKUH6joeEs&feature=player_embedded
Frank Sinatra - Something Stupid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoSbnAFvqfA&feature=player_embedded
Take That - Rule The World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pstY2qtTN8o&feature=player_embedded
Saujana - Permaidani
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXawfP_WKlc&feature=player_embedded
this is my mixed tape.. in text form and the links..
here again.. in particular order..
enjoy...
The Beatles - Yesterday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNnaxGFO18o&feature=player_embedded
Puddle of Mudd - Blurry ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIHSUJr5jeM&feature=player_embedded
Nat King Cole - Fly Me To the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5EUcYw96us&feature=player_embedded
Frank Sinatra - Fly Me To the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C5twY6f-rU&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - Lithium ( Live)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8y5ibUBw1k&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - Rape Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCS14PoQc2M&feature=player_embedded
Bon Jovi - Always
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzMeG4s8AGA&feature=player_embedded
Staind - Right Here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQPfGMF80Kg&feature=player_embedded
Howie Day - Collide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eip5wOd7t8&feature=player_embedded
Al-Ghasiyah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH8jGEvRHp4&feature=player_embedded
Guns N Roses - November Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE&feature=player_embedded
Carlos Santana - Black Magic Woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPo9Gd2z6rI&feature=player_embedded
Louie Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVG80vqVfSA&feature=player_embedded
Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dwuzqF6huc&feature=player_embedded
Seether Ft Amy Lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqd2FJF8-h8&feature=player_embedded
Papa Roach - Scars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dIGMnzLrgA&feature=player_embedded
100 Days with Mr Arrogant - OST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAv6wIVVwl8&feature=player_embedded
Buddy Holly - Raining in My Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLeZof1wGps&feature=player_embedded
Hijjaz - Fatamorgana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCk1EVuh0sU&feature=player_embedded
Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bf2w5wbLwjU&feature=player_embedded
Johnny Cash - Hurt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSWTgLvxPYc&feature=player_embedded
Eminem - Sing For The Moment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4hAVemuQXY&feature=player_embedded
Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc954nt-7Io&feature=player_embedded
Scorpions - I'm Still Loving You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC_hcwXboyA&feature=player_embedded
Awie - Bernafas Dalam Lumpur
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJPchckVIo&feature=player_embedded
Queen - Another One Bites The Dust
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJPchckVIo&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fregObNcHC8&feature=player_embedded
Gary Jules - Mad World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4&feature=player_embedded
Frank Sinatra - My Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aht9hcDFyVw&feature=player_embedded
Goo Goo Dolls- Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHaBc0sLwE0&feature=player_embedded
Daft Punk ft Kanye West - Stronger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYTaGxOuURU&feature=player_embedded
Kris Allen - Heartless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGJGTdhbGEM&feature=player_embedded
U2 - With or Without You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzeDqRhM09w&feature=player_embedded
The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22PE-l1ZQW8&feature=player_embedded
The Rolling Stones - Paint it Black - kene tgk Mick Jagger menari.. sphagetti legs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9DDpmyPZZA&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Egt1Hq4wpE - better audio
Michael Jackson - You're Not ALone
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xeq8i_michael-jackson-you-are-not-alone_news#from=embed
Gun N Roses- Don't Cry ( Original version )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctUuitkLmu4&feature=player_embedded
Bill Withers- Ain't No Sunshine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo&feature=player_embedded
Pink - So What
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaz5tGl5Yho&feature=player_embedded
Mika - Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sknDfB3pJB8
Staind - Everything Changes ( Acoustic )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9ZrbKY6xzU&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - Say ( All I Need )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRSZpV6WIuU&feature=player_embedded
Chris Daughtry - What About Now ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v-ruEvB8Jc&feature=player_embedded
Nirvana - All Apologies ( Unplugged)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmkuH1k7uA&feature=player_embedded
All American Rejects - It Ends Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QApWTB6-CM&feature=player_embedded
The Cardigans - Lovefool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9zpnLBtwwg&feature=player_embedded
Exists - Kapal Terbang Kertas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF_P7N-FRG4&feature=player_embedded
Take That - Back For Good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5cLExchcn4&feature=player_embedded
Carlos Santana - ft Steve Tyler - Just Feel Better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P81yEdJy3fo&feature=player_embedded
Andy Williams - Speak Softly Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQBW6G0hSrs&feature=player_embedded
Mr. Big - To Be With You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cCVmMLFI2U&feature=player_embedded
Wings - Sejati
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLau51dJMrc&feature=player_embedded
The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy , He's My Brother
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1KtScrqtbc&feature=player_embedded
Kawashima Ai - Bye Bye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thBIAdFY0uY&feature=player_embedded
Mr. Big - Wild World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31k_DB8KVQM&feature=player_embedded
Search - Kejora
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yFAxrqHoy0&feature=player_embedded
UB40 - Can't Help Falling in Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajp0Uaw4rqo&feature=player_embedded
Jennifer Paige - Crush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj5S1RCUDvM&feature=player_embedded
Snow Patrol - Run
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOBs8dU4Pb8&feature=player_embedded
Midnight Hour - Running Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVDkiq6c49s&feature=player_embedded
Oleander - Halo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=web5LDTQ2-Q&feature=player_embedded
Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTy6UMC2TEU&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Berhenti Berharap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25E_NZpQrkg&feature=player_embedded
Blues Brothers - Everybody Needs Somebody ( To Love)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAG8iD-XS44&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Sahabat Sejatiku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G78L5kN1Ydk&feature=player_embedded
Peterpan - Kukatakan Dengan Indah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGjIQ8-0UQ8&feature=player_embedded
Elvis Presley - You'll Never Walk Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28Fsi9kwzps&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7- Jangan Beritahu Niah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLbq0EYPhpE&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Waktu Yang Tepat Untuk Berpisah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRNkjzVouKM&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - All the Right Moves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrOeGCJdZe4&feature=player_embedded
Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edRnjGPJGo0&feature=player_embedded
Indigo - Istimewa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNGEca7X9dQ&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - Secrets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr3dA9LWL3Y&feature=player_embedded
Creed- One Last Breath
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-yXPPFyG0A&feature=player_embedded
Ben E. King - Stand By Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg7YoXiKn0&feature=player_embedded
One Republic - Stop and Stare ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsK5sf_82rk&feature=player_embedded
Kid Rock - Only God Knows Why
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DQup4hd1_o&feature=player_embedded
P. Ramlee - Getaran Jiwa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PdoelbBKi8&feature=player_embedded
Aerosmith - Dream On
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Qd9VR1gD8&feature=player_embedded
Staind - So Far Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRRnU8VzOok&feature=player_embedded
Merril Bainbridge - Mouth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YIIM1EVDqg&feature=player_embedded
Ayumi Hamasaki - Still Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVCoyMGZ3ro&feature=player_embedded
Sixpence none the richer - Don't Dream It's Over
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bdOefF_tyU&feature=player_embedded
Foo Fighters - Walking After You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WATKvSg69WY&feature=player_embedded
Raihan - Iktiraf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5m0DsoJ4wY&feature=player_embedded
Sheila on 7 - Buat Aku Tersenyum
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5TtWPgZNyM&feature=player_embedded
Our Lady Peace - Somewhere out There
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15gly_our-lady-peace-somewhere-out-there_music#from=embed
All American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZg-YXZjptI&feature=player_embedded
Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fJFtYaJptY&feature=player_embedded
Lifehouse - You and Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDYUb5wWXyk&feature=player_embedded
The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6j4TGqVl5g&feature=player_embedded
Sixpence None The Richer - There She Goes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTbNTe5gZLo&feature=player_embedded
Uncle Kracker - Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt07gzG4rfs&feature=player_embedded
Stevie Wonder - I Believe ( When I Fall In Love)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H--_-gPX3Nw&feature=player_embedded
Everly Brothers - All I Have To Do Is Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uKUH6joeEs&feature=player_embedded
Frank Sinatra - Something Stupid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoSbnAFvqfA&feature=player_embedded
Take That - Rule The World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pstY2qtTN8o&feature=player_embedded
Saujana - Permaidani
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXawfP_WKlc&feature=player_embedded
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A weird realization, a renouncement and Isildur's bane..
it's 10.30p.m. in London.. it's 6.30 a.m. in Malaysia .. it's 9.30a.m. in Melbourne
by the time i finish writing this post - it is 1.30a.m... hahaha
i've been in London for the past 5 days
i'm starting to be homesick.. hahaha konon nak migrate aa .. poyo je.. tak makan nasik sehari pun dah withdrawal symptoms..
The winter weather is surprisingly nice for me..
suits the mood.. i'm waiting for snow..
p/s - i've not had an asthma attack yet - nauzubillah..
I don't think this is me moving a step back.. or falling back into bargaining or depression..
i'm not depressed.. i'm no longer sad.. my anger is attenuated but it's still alive and kicking
i'm not saying that i'm still stuck .. i can tell you with certainty that i am not stuck on a person who i feel has not appreciated me
but probably i've not fully moved on..
I probably tried to supress a lot of feelings initially..
supressed the sadness, supressed the anger , supressed the frustration
It will take time to probably move on from this.. there's no shortcut from this.. no running away.. but i just can't help being envious of other people - who have it made.. who have it easy.. wallahuwa'lam
I've accepted the fact of what happened..
The person who was blinded for the past 9 years won't ever be allowed back out again..
at least in the near feature.. he has been grounded and told to learn his lesson and reflect on what has happened..
The person who's taking over will probably have a lot anger in him.. but still mushy at heart.. B-o-D-o-H..
You know you're screwed when you address yourself in the third person manner..
looking at things from a distance suddenly it all feels so surreal..
I'm still pinching myself.. Unreal gile..
you know.. i still ask myself.. after the amount of time that we've spent .. the things that we went through, it 's weird that i was in a way 'discarded' so lightly with little or no consideration at all for courtesy..
I think i know the answer and MY version of the truth.. but any way it will take a lot of swallowing..
Forgiving will take an all mighty effort as even considering forgiveness is taking a lot out of me.
If you've ever read Tolkien and Lords of the Ring - you would probably know of Isildur's bane
Isildur was the wielder of the sword ,Elendil and his direct descendant was Aragorn son of Arathorn
Isildur's bane was the One Ring - He struck down Sauron with the shards of Elendil and got greedy.. he kept the ring for himself and he died due to that..
Let me tell you of my bane..
Wealth and Position has never really tempted me much.. Alhamdulilah
My bane has and probably will always be girls/ladies and crushes
I become like a fool in front of them..
I become speechless.. I get lightheaded and dizzy..
I get butterflies..
I probably become blinded..
I become a grade A weirdo.. hahahaha
I'm already on the rebound with a whole hosts of crushes.. hahaha
to name a few
Tina Fey
ZuhairahMustafaAl-Husin
Minah tepi laut
Tourist2 kat London
A lot of others that even i can't be bothered..
My whole life has been filled of crushes..
I still remember my first crush..
I was 6-7 years old kot.. i went to Turkey with my parents - she was a Turk - still have a soft spot for them .. probably 12-13 years old..
Knew her for whole of 2 days kot.. we stayed with her family for a few days..
She had short curly red hair.. green eyes.. pointy chin.. white radiant skin..
a bit tomboyish then.. hmm i wonder what happened to her..
She was the first one of many...
then i had a crush a year.. hahahha.. bunyi cam bodoh gile je..
Darjah 1 - someone had a crush on me- aznee- haha she introduced me to her grandfather masa darjah 3 - lawak2... masa tuh takut cooties lagi..
Darjah 2 - LimYingHui - we were in the same class - tapi die sessi petang.. i was in the morning session - would just see her when we changed sessions..
Darjah 3 -I can't recall having a crush on anyone during this period of time.. probably i was having a lot of fun my police and thief .. one 2 jaga..
Darjah 4- S.Deena - she was a bit of a snob sikit kot.. or seperti biasa i was insecure seperti biasa.. hahaha met her again when i want for tuition classes for PMR - i went for BM tuition of all things..
Darjah 5- Syilmasliza ,No direct contact with her at all.. tak penah cakap.. tak penah tegur..
yg bestnya masa darjah 6 die hilang.. pindah sekolah kot..
Darjah 6- CindyGoh - one of my greatest crush i have ever had on a person- she was very fluent in malay. we were good friends then , she had short black hair jugak.. lived in Taman Megah , went for tuition together.. had a brilliant smile.. very smart..
Form 1 - ada.. but my best friend and i had a crush on the same person - so i have never confessed to having a crush on her.. both of us had a crush on the same person at the time.. but she was already with another one of our friends..
Form 2- the same person.. but by then my best friend had won her over.. i was truly happy for him though.. no sarcasm intended..
Form 3 -aznee - if you notice this was the person who had a crush on me in Standard 1
Form 4- i say this name with pride - NurulAfzan- she was my superior in the LDP - a'friend' warned me from making a move for her.. a very stern warning.. it's ironic.. that 'friend' left her and married someone else.. B-o-D-o-H- BODOH... haha
Form 5- still her.. very2 smitten then..
I've never ever told this to anyone -- even to my friends.. the only person who knows this story is Ameer..
She was polite, she is a very very nice person, she was a sweet person.. not literally
I remember how i started to 'stalk' her - biasa le cara2 budak mrsm jasin at the time..
tulis nota - tinggal atas meja..
tanya tip2 utk belajar add maths.. chemistry..
haha tulis dalam JAWI - yg penting my jawi sucked and i have Ameer to tank as he can write Jawi very beautifully.. - haha thank you Ameer..
and she would ask for tips regarding english.. i remember leaving her a book from charles dickens- david copperfield.. hmm the old times.. tetiba ingat cerita kartun Tembakau..
my pen name was quite stupid
TP~
Topeng Perak - pengaruh komik kuat sangat nih..
and she was very honest with me.. she said even though i was TP to her - she already had her own - TUXEDO MASK - hmm pengaruh sailormoon tol.
God , this is so damn corny.. but i don't care anymore..
Haha she's married now.. has a kid.. i'm happy for her..
Banting - the less said the better..
IMU - hmmmmm
1st year - same person .. tried to ?start something with an old classmate but did not really hit it off.. and also due to the fact that it was not fair for her .. with me being stuck on the same person.. again and again.. in truth i tried to get closer dgn budak jasin.. but i also decided against it at the time..
2nd year - it was the same person.. but to those who may know.. i did seriously consider giving up and pursuing other 'options'.. i can't really recall and do not want to really delve into this any further..
3rd year to now- hahahahahhahahahahahahaha, it was probably a blardy prolonged crush , i probably became very blinded by my bane..
I am sorry to say that it ended on a sour note..
but let me say this..
I am a person who values my secrets..
I always keep the things very dear to me - very close to my chest..
As it is very valuable and very important to me ..
by talking about this.. by declassifying things that were important to me..
i hope that it would lose it's significance and it's sway on me
It would lose its meaning..
This is probably me trying to renounce those memories in an attempt to move forward
Iqbal is leaving the building now..
All this is and was probably monkey love..
A stupid crush.. an unrequited one as usual..
They plot , but Allah (also) plotteth ; and Allah is the best of plotters
Surah Al-Anfal- ayat 30
وَيَمۡكُرُونَ وَيَمۡكُرُ ٱللَّهُۖ وَٱللَّهُ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡمَـٰڪِرِينَ
Even though i do not like to admit this..
I plotted.. plotted what to do next.. where to go from here.. what to do.. somehow i plotted..
you know the stupid feeling of spitting up in the air? you know it's going to fall down back to your face.. but you still look at your spit gleefully.. waiting to see what will happen next..
El Stupido is in the building..
Now i leave it to God.. as HE knows what is best.. biar la DIA bagi sapa2.. asal org tuh yg ngorat aku.. malas nak fikir dah.. hahaha malas dah nak fikir pasal mimpi2..
I am sure of a few things
I will never change..
My bane will still be the same..
I will keep my secrets as usual.. much more closer than ever.
Probably i will be more experienced..
As they say once bitten , twice shy..
but one thing is for sure..
I am just so damn tired..
Despair not of the Mercy of Allah : for Allah forgives all sins : for He is Oft-Forgiving , Most Merciful - Az-Zumar - verse 53
لَا تَقۡنَطُواْ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًاۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ
by the time i finish writing this post - it is 1.30a.m... hahaha
i've been in London for the past 5 days
i'm starting to be homesick.. hahaha konon nak migrate aa .. poyo je.. tak makan nasik sehari pun dah withdrawal symptoms..
The winter weather is surprisingly nice for me..
suits the mood.. i'm waiting for snow..
p/s - i've not had an asthma attack yet - nauzubillah..
I don't think this is me moving a step back.. or falling back into bargaining or depression..
i'm not depressed.. i'm no longer sad.. my anger is attenuated but it's still alive and kicking
i'm not saying that i'm still stuck .. i can tell you with certainty that i am not stuck on a person who i feel has not appreciated me
but probably i've not fully moved on..
I probably tried to supress a lot of feelings initially..
supressed the sadness, supressed the anger , supressed the frustration
It will take time to probably move on from this.. there's no shortcut from this.. no running away.. but i just can't help being envious of other people - who have it made.. who have it easy.. wallahuwa'lam
I've accepted the fact of what happened..
The person who was blinded for the past 9 years won't ever be allowed back out again..
at least in the near feature.. he has been grounded and told to learn his lesson and reflect on what has happened..
The person who's taking over will probably have a lot anger in him.. but still mushy at heart.. B-o-D-o-H..
You know you're screwed when you address yourself in the third person manner..
looking at things from a distance suddenly it all feels so surreal..
I'm still pinching myself.. Unreal gile..
you know.. i still ask myself.. after the amount of time that we've spent .. the things that we went through, it 's weird that i was in a way 'discarded' so lightly with little or no consideration at all for courtesy..
I think i know the answer and MY version of the truth.. but any way it will take a lot of swallowing..
Forgiving will take an all mighty effort as even considering forgiveness is taking a lot out of me.
If you've ever read Tolkien and Lords of the Ring - you would probably know of Isildur's bane
Isildur was the wielder of the sword ,Elendil and his direct descendant was Aragorn son of Arathorn
Isildur's bane was the One Ring - He struck down Sauron with the shards of Elendil and got greedy.. he kept the ring for himself and he died due to that..
Let me tell you of my bane..
Wealth and Position has never really tempted me much.. Alhamdulilah
My bane has and probably will always be girls/ladies and crushes
I become like a fool in front of them..
I become speechless.. I get lightheaded and dizzy..
I get butterflies..
I probably become blinded..
I become a grade A weirdo.. hahahaha
I'm already on the rebound with a whole hosts of crushes.. hahaha
to name a few
Tina Fey
ZuhairahMustafaAl-Husin
Minah tepi laut
Tourist2 kat London
A lot of others that even i can't be bothered..
My whole life has been filled of crushes..
I still remember my first crush..
I was 6-7 years old kot.. i went to Turkey with my parents - she was a Turk - still have a soft spot for them .. probably 12-13 years old..
Knew her for whole of 2 days kot.. we stayed with her family for a few days..
She had short curly red hair.. green eyes.. pointy chin.. white radiant skin..
a bit tomboyish then.. hmm i wonder what happened to her..
She was the first one of many...
then i had a crush a year.. hahahha.. bunyi cam bodoh gile je..
Darjah 1 - someone had a crush on me- aznee- haha she introduced me to her grandfather masa darjah 3 - lawak2... masa tuh takut cooties lagi..
Darjah 2 - LimYingHui - we were in the same class - tapi die sessi petang.. i was in the morning session - would just see her when we changed sessions..
Darjah 3 -I can't recall having a crush on anyone during this period of time.. probably i was having a lot of fun my police and thief .. one 2 jaga..
Darjah 4- S.Deena - she was a bit of a snob sikit kot.. or seperti biasa i was insecure seperti biasa.. hahaha met her again when i want for tuition classes for PMR - i went for BM tuition of all things..
Darjah 5- Syilmasliza ,No direct contact with her at all.. tak penah cakap.. tak penah tegur..
yg bestnya masa darjah 6 die hilang.. pindah sekolah kot..
Darjah 6- CindyGoh - one of my greatest crush i have ever had on a person- she was very fluent in malay. we were good friends then , she had short black hair jugak.. lived in Taman Megah , went for tuition together.. had a brilliant smile.. very smart..
Form 1 - ada.. but my best friend and i had a crush on the same person - so i have never confessed to having a crush on her.. both of us had a crush on the same person at the time.. but she was already with another one of our friends..
Form 2- the same person.. but by then my best friend had won her over.. i was truly happy for him though.. no sarcasm intended..
Form 3 -aznee - if you notice this was the person who had a crush on me in Standard 1
Form 4- i say this name with pride - NurulAfzan- she was my superior in the LDP - a'friend' warned me from making a move for her.. a very stern warning.. it's ironic.. that 'friend' left her and married someone else.. B-o-D-o-H- BODOH... haha
Form 5- still her.. very2 smitten then..
I've never ever told this to anyone -- even to my friends.. the only person who knows this story is Ameer..
She was polite, she is a very very nice person, she was a sweet person.. not literally
I remember how i started to 'stalk' her - biasa le cara2 budak mrsm jasin at the time..
tulis nota - tinggal atas meja..
tanya tip2 utk belajar add maths.. chemistry..
haha tulis dalam JAWI - yg penting my jawi sucked and i have Ameer to tank as he can write Jawi very beautifully.. - haha thank you Ameer..
and she would ask for tips regarding english.. i remember leaving her a book from charles dickens- david copperfield.. hmm the old times.. tetiba ingat cerita kartun Tembakau..
my pen name was quite stupid
TP~
Topeng Perak - pengaruh komik kuat sangat nih..
and she was very honest with me.. she said even though i was TP to her - she already had her own - TUXEDO MASK - hmm pengaruh sailormoon tol.
God , this is so damn corny.. but i don't care anymore..
Haha she's married now.. has a kid.. i'm happy for her..
Banting - the less said the better..
IMU - hmmmmm
1st year - same person .. tried to ?start something with an old classmate but did not really hit it off.. and also due to the fact that it was not fair for her .. with me being stuck on the same person.. again and again.. in truth i tried to get closer dgn budak jasin.. but i also decided against it at the time..
2nd year - it was the same person.. but to those who may know.. i did seriously consider giving up and pursuing other 'options'.. i can't really recall and do not want to really delve into this any further..
3rd year to now- hahahahahhahahahahahahaha, it was probably a blardy prolonged crush , i probably became very blinded by my bane..
I am sorry to say that it ended on a sour note..
but let me say this..
I am a person who values my secrets..
I always keep the things very dear to me - very close to my chest..
As it is very valuable and very important to me ..
by talking about this.. by declassifying things that were important to me..
i hope that it would lose it's significance and it's sway on me
It would lose its meaning..
This is probably me trying to renounce those memories in an attempt to move forward
Iqbal is leaving the building now..
All this is and was probably monkey love..
A stupid crush.. an unrequited one as usual..
They plot , but Allah (also) plotteth ; and Allah is the best of plotters
Surah Al-Anfal- ayat 30
وَيَمۡكُرُونَ وَيَمۡكُرُ ٱللَّهُۖ وَٱللَّهُ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡمَـٰڪِرِينَ
Even though i do not like to admit this..
I plotted.. plotted what to do next.. where to go from here.. what to do.. somehow i plotted..
you know the stupid feeling of spitting up in the air? you know it's going to fall down back to your face.. but you still look at your spit gleefully.. waiting to see what will happen next..
El Stupido is in the building..
Now i leave it to God.. as HE knows what is best.. biar la DIA bagi sapa2.. asal org tuh yg ngorat aku.. malas nak fikir dah.. hahaha malas dah nak fikir pasal mimpi2..
I am sure of a few things
I will never change..
My bane will still be the same..
I will keep my secrets as usual.. much more closer than ever.
Probably i will be more experienced..
As they say once bitten , twice shy..
but one thing is for sure..
I am just so damn tired..
Despair not of the Mercy of Allah : for Allah forgives all sins : for He is Oft-Forgiving , Most Merciful - Az-Zumar - verse 53
لَا تَقۡنَطُواْ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًاۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ
Monday, December 13, 2010
My mixed tape..
hmmm i was going through a lot of blardy songs for the past 2 months..
this is to put it into perspective .. the range of things..
this is my mixed tape in a very particular order..
Well everything snowballed after i started.. one thing led to another..
this is more of like my mixed DVD.. haha but i'm still loving the songs -- especially the acoustics one..
this is me sharing my music with my friends..
some you may like.. some maybe not so..
some may be a bit too vulgar.. but let me assure you.. most of them are very nice..
the genres are very diverse.. haha enjoy
Michael Jackson You Are Not Alone
Uploaded by paradixman. - Up-to-the minute news videos.
if the above link doesn't work.. another linky here. sheila on 7 punya link banyak masalah tul.
Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There
Uploaded by Nate_Perro. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
this is to put it into perspective .. the range of things..
this is my mixed tape in a very particular order..
Well everything snowballed after i started.. one thing led to another..
this is more of like my mixed DVD.. haha but i'm still loving the songs -- especially the acoustics one..
this is me sharing my music with my friends..
some you may like.. some maybe not so..
some may be a bit too vulgar.. but let me assure you.. most of them are very nice..
the genres are very diverse.. haha enjoy
Michael Jackson You Are Not Alone
Uploaded by paradixman. - Up-to-the minute news videos.
if the above link doesn't work.. another linky here. sheila on 7 punya link banyak masalah tul.
Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There
Uploaded by Nate_Perro. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
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