Facts and perception..

Fact
can refer to verified information about past or present circumstances or events which are presented as objective reality. In science, it means a provable concept

Perception
is the process of attaining awareness or understanding of sensory information. The word "perception" comes from the Latin words perceptio, percipio, and means "receiving, collecting, action of taking possession, apprehension with the mind or senses
What one perceives is a result of interplays between past experiences, including one’s culture, and the interpretation of the perceived.

Conceited

Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of oneself; vain.

I am a person who thinks too much at times..
Too much about abstract ideas ..
I am having a hard time linking everything that i want to say at this moment of time..
I hope i do justice to what i want to babble about tonight..

We can always control the facts that are given to a person..
in the way you present it .. in the way you spin it..
in the amount of facts you give.. facts that you withold
However we can never control how the facts are perceived..
Individual experiences shape how we perceive things

Perception is a thing which we can never control..
Most of us try to do so.. but we fail miserably when we even try
As perception is the sole property of the person who owns it..
I have never attempted ( rasanyala..) to influence a person's perception of things.. nor will i ever try to do so in the future
I do not try to turn people against other people
I will never do that
As that is just plain and simple - wrong

Let me tell you about my perception..
To me.. and i stress again To ME it was an outright betrayal
True and simple
We may argue otherwise.. but that's the beauty of perception..
There would also be an opposing perception most likely..
Looking back at the past few posts.. i feel slightly bewildered.. i saw myself up close and personal.. in denial... bargaining.. and depressed..
What is done is done..

Things are simple if i think of it this way..
Nothing will every happen between us barring a few miracles..
But even then.. pigs flying would be more likely
Honestly.. i don't think i'm stuck..
I am actually trying to move on already which is suprising.. i would have though the repercussions of it would be far reaching and long lasting- some even predicted 3 years to recover.. haha
I do not begrudge the fact that it had to end..
I understand that logic..
The only thing i begrudge was the way that it was conducted..
but hey.. who cares anymore..
No more apologies.. no more trying so hard..
i'm content.

Anyone who knows me closely - knows that the 2 things that i hate in a person are
Indecision
Hypocrisy

This has been so for the whole of my 26 years i've been here.. and not something recent
to a degree i may also be indecisive.. but who knows..

I hold a few things that are very dear to me..
- honour
- courtesy
- dignity
- respect
- understanding and comprehension
- humility
- chivalry
konon la few things.. padahal banyak..

I may be headstrong and single-minded
I may turn a deaf ear to reasonable advice
I am a very obstinate person
I may have been blind for quite a while
but i feel that i have a clear mind.. an inexperienced one.. but nonetheless a clear one..
I am the epitome of stubbornness
I have my deficiencies
I may be indecisive at times.. passive
I have a reasonable understanding of right and wrong which may differ with other people

but i do not regret my actions
I stand proud to my actions
I do not minimize the affect of my decision
I hold myself responsible to it.. myself alone and no one else

I am proud of who i am
To me it is important to live with honour and dignity
I admit the mistakes that i've made
I am guilty as charged

The only thing that i ever need is to be able to look myself in the mirror
and not feel ashamed of anything.. to be able to live with myself
I would like to believe that i live my life according to a code
To a set of values that i hold dear
I've not bothered to list them down.. but it is probably a short list not more than a page long
I try to never be vengeful.. to be hostile to people..
Things will even itself out eventually insya-Allah
In truth i don't even intend to be hostile anyone ..
I just find it funny and amazing..
That someone has managed to exhaust my good will..
This has never happened before..
Probably never will again..

I do not expect others to live up to the standard that i set
As these are my standards
People can live whichever way they want
As long as they are content..

Guess which state i am currently in?

I'm done
with Denial
with Bargaining
with Depression
with Acceptance..
now there is just anger..

lagi sekali.. lagu sama utk org sama.. memang sah takda kerja nih.. hahah

Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There
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p/s :
A thing that i would like to say is..
Please do not be so conceited..

Ya Allah.. i don't even know why i'm still commenting on this episode/person.. sounds sad..