Have you ever been digitally ignored??

blurnye..

Another catch-22 dilemma

hmmm 2 catch 22 situations in a period of 7 months- that's something...

Well.. the postings are out... to say i'm jumping with joy would put it a bit too far..
i'm happy as the fact the posting was requested..
However to say that i'm displeased does not really portray what i really think right now..
i've never been one to dictate someone's future..
initially there were attempts to .. 'facilitate' the posting according to the choices listed as per initially requested...
However that soon came to an end went the posting obtained was the one that was waited for..
i've asked for no interference at all - hopefully things go through.. my family can be a bit nosy at times.. hopefully not though..

however it leaves me with a potentially very hard decision in the near future..
with lydia and didi bashing me- something new ..
cherap supportive as per usual..
family grilling me as per usual..

in the past 2 weeks i've been called a lot of things
- loyal
- stupid
- in denial
- narrow minded
- being given the run-around
- great
- devoted

not pleasant things to be called, not easy things to ignore..
It is easy for me to say that i'll go anywhere
it's just i'm afraid that it feels a bit irresponsible for me.. can't really describe why and how as that would actually put a damper on my brilliant ( not sarcasm) mood..

I don't think i'm being taken for a ride.. i'm sure it's there.. but i can't say for sure..
what a blardy paradox..

in truth, i've never doubted my decision - doubted 'minimally' yes.. but i've been fairly sure of what the decision is and what i would do.. it's just the predicted collateral effects that i have trouble dealing with..

so many questions in this period of time
- to specialize in what
- where to do my posting
- where ideally to do my posting
- do i want to go to HUSM
- do i want to go to Labuan
- do i want to go to Seremban
- am i settling down anytime soon
- am i settling down anywhere in particular
- supporting which teams for the world cup?
- who's going to win the world cup?

The only thing i want now - is to find someone to live my life with and grow old.. the other questions comes later for all i care.. and i feel i've made the right decision for a long time now- insya-Allah.. Netherlands - haha

after 8 years.. you would feel that it should get a bit easier... God knows..

the decision is made -it has been made a long time ago.....
i will go.. insya-Allah

Ya Tuhanku , permudahkanlah urusanku , jangan disulitkan kerana Engkaulah yang Maha Memudahkan
Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu'asir Ya Karim....