Creed- One Last Breath

Please come now
I think I’m falling
I’m holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I’m trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down
I’m looking down now that it’s over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in his grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say
Hold me nowI’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down
Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there’s something left for me
So please come stay with me
cause I still believe there’s something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me
Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking

EXAMS hampehhhh....

just finished the exams yesterday.. it was a heavy load of my shoulders le...
anyway i've never felt this tired and burnt out after an examms.. agak letih gak le.. even yesterday pun dok rumah tak buat apa.. tonight maybe nak pg tgk narnia ngan pakcik, annas ngan yuhana.... need to let off some steam le..

anyway about exams...

1st day
on monday, the first exam PBQ, exam time about 3 hours la
problem based questions agak hampeh gak sebenarnya
i didn't check the list for the seating arrangements, tak penah check pun in advance..
anyway i got a shock le sebab i had to sit in the front row,, dengar prof mak jun wah dok buat lawak ngan prof paul chen, dr lee lai kah dok gossip apa tah ngan dr timothy..
and some more.. so many people went to the toilet that day..
and the questions pun agak hampeh le jugak..

we had a total of 6 questions each amounting 50 marks each.. anyway the questions for repro, endo , haemato , msk were 'answerable' la , respi , cns ngan endo dijawab ngan perisa sikit2..
tapi git memang betul 'kuey teaw goreng' la jugak
well anyway i crapped all the way la...
i think i did averagely for this one...
imu punya problem case questions asal buleh nak intergrate semua system yg ada.. in one question it had 3 systems in it.. huhuhu

2nd day
ospe exam.. exam started somewhere around 9.30 am.. went to sleep a bit late la the night before but i don't regret it... i went through all the tips given by dr. thani utk patho questions and alhamdulilah byk yg kena.. however, i think i've screwed up my anatomy questions.. i was too enamoured with the anatomy of the right hand tak teringat nak tgk sebelah kiri punya tangan, sure it's just a mirror image, but in 5 minutes for every station you don't really have the luxury of time figuring out which is which... huhu
anyhow.. i crapped well that day kot.. dahle buat ospe yg ni nak kena pakai labcoat.. first time in my 4 major exams(plus resit sem 3)

during ospe tuh we were divided into 4 streams and i was in stream D kira cam mengadap stream C la except there's a divider, when i arrived to the questions about odds ratio ngan health issue punya kiraan tuh, i took a seat ngan baca le soalan, tetiba something came under the table where i was seating, dahle macam kepala ular, agak terkejut le sebentar.. rupanya kaki budak stream sebelah... pakai kasut kulit cam kepala ular.. rasa cam nak pijak2 je kaki tuh.. blanked out for a while after that hahaha

day 3
osce day 1, i had 12 stations that day...
and my first station was a rest station, after that was a history taking and the question answer station... immediately after that physical examination bersama dr nagamani ngan james.. a match made in 'heaven'.. or 'hell' more like it.. i'm pretty sure i failed that station as i blanked out and panicked at that station, had to check for hypothyroidism, panik tuh terbawak to the next station of PE with dr. srikumar.. it wasn't helped by me getting and x-ray questions for pneumothorax huhuhu...
anyway on that day i think my history taking and self standing stations made up for the physical examinations punya station.. the next two PE stations i got dr. htin aung ngan dr. kwa sew kim..
i think i did really well for stesen dr. hting aun.. examination of the shoulder joint.. dahle before entering the room i left my tendon hammer kat stesen last sekali ... nasib baik tak payah pakai tendon hammer
for dr. kwa sew kim dapat examination of the precordium...

after the exams tuh had to go with paul jambu pg carik my missing tendon hammer..
had a bit of a conversation la dengan dia...(somewhere to this effect la)
pj: so how was the exams today?
me:dunno le paul, i think i screwed up 2 stations today..
pj:it's just 2 station u did ok for the rest right...
me: yeah maybe
pj:relax then, i know ur a STEADY FELLOW, you'll do fine

hmm a bit encouragingla, but we know sometimes people say things out of necessity to reassure people.. ahaha

last day of exams
osce day 2
it was a reverse of the day before.. i did okay for all the PE stations.. i got dr.juriah, dr. rafidah yong, dr. loh keng yin ngan dr.lim, i did extra OK in dr.juriah ngan dr.lim punya stations la...
the history taking pun ok gak kot.. dapat lena ngan mr.jude... but self standing punya station agak 'si*l' le.. dapat ecg...
it was an uncovenient time to forget sifir 7 ,8 ngan 9 uhuhu
anyhow.. exams dapat habis.. want to relax for now and hope for the best...
insya-Allah

D-Day...

exams are just two and a half days away and i'm afraid that i'm screwed..
but fear not.. i'm an optimist no matter what.. it's the only thing that can make me move forward and do my best and not be affected by the pressure and stress..
hmm anyway the breakdown of marks

in course assesment 25%
endocrine b-
reproductive b-
renal (mr. galy kata dapat c but not that bothered to get the results seeing that i failed)
selectives b+
msk a-
cns c+
selectives ( i'm making a guess.. er maybe b+(sense the optimism))

total of somewhere around 16 out of 25

basically i need 49 marks more

Format for finals
Problem Based Questions 35%
OSPE 22%
OSCE 18%

somewhere along these lines la kot.. anyway..
i've completed endo,respi,haemato,cvs, git(suprisingly dapat habis), and 3/4 of repro
renal , cns ngan msk just need to round up everything
but anyhow i just pray to Allah dapat le lepas first time punya exam nih..
i dun really mind pun kalu kena viva.. tapi kalu buleh mintak past first time le insya-Allah

anyway anyone reading le... bebykkan le doa utk kitaorang..
malam ni nak habiskan renal ngan msk punya remaining lectures ngan pagi esok nak pg mms lagi sambung tgk models...

today

hari ni i was a bit dizzy.. pharyngitis... telan ubat lepas tuh tidur..
dalam minggu exam nih agak ajaib le jugak buleh bangun awal takyah dikejut..
well today i joined the csu practice group tayyib brothers, fika, akmal ngan pakcik... haha byk gak yg tak diketahui tapi takpa.. osce can be dealt with later.. i'm concentrating on the problem based questions...
this'll be the last time i post before the exams.. malas dah nak access internet

p/s : liverpool layak champions league haha best dapat top chelsea in the qualifying group...

Hadapi Dengan Senyuman -Dewa

HADAPI DENGAN SENYUMAN
SEMUA YANG TERJADI
BIAR TERJADI….

HADAPI DENGAN TENANG JIWA
SEMUA... KAN BAIK BAIK SAJA
BILA KETETAPAN TUHAN
SUDAH DITETAPKAN
TETAPLAH SUDAH….

TAK ADA YANG BISA MERUBAH
DAN TAKKAN BISA BERUBAH

REFF
RELAKANLAH SAJA INI
BAHWA SEMUA YANG TERBAIK
TERBAIK UNTUK KITA SEMUA
MENYERAHLAH UNTUK MENANG

smile for me..
Bismillahi Tawakaltu Allah

When i grow up....

when i grow up and specialize in something.. i won't be taking something relating to hormones
aaaahhhh dok tensen baca pasal thyroid, pancreas, parathyroid, ovaries, FSH and LH.. i think i have a general idea of what it's about.. and certain things memang betul tahu... tapi..macam dah berkecamuk je... haha.. takpe.. dengan nama Allah aku bertawakal kepadanya...anyway.. i suddenly love cns and ms sebab semuanya nampak logical...
anyway need to brush up on cns, msk ngan renal.. lain tuh macam dah berserah je.. baca ulang2 pun macam takda guna je.. ngan git gak.. kena baca pathology.. huhuhu...
anyway trying to simulate exam conditions sekarang nih.. agak sukar utk duduk 3 jam straight sebab sakit belakang.. ahah kena pakai koyok le nampak gayanya..
haha hari ni tetiba jadi gembira sebentar.. budak jasin(utk sesapa yg faham je) menegur aku...
study jgn tak study..

quote of the day:
never underestimate the power of guided faith,
and
never underestimate the stupidity of blind faith.

medical trivia of the day:
HPV infection associated with benign condylomata HPV 11 and 13
HPV infection associated with cervical cancer.. 16,18,31,33

Studies...

haha a 11 days lagi dah nak finals.. sekarang dok ada kat MMS baca manga kat internet..
studies are going ok.. nak kena struggle a bit la kalo nak habiskan all the systems in time..
i've finished respi, haemato, cvs(sikit lagi) and just finished endo.. but somehow tak buleh nak ingat manifestations in hypersecretion of adrenals .. cushing's , congenital adrenal hyperplasia.. blablah... tonight habiskan renal ngan go through git and a bit of msk..
nowadays just concentrating on the pathology lectures for sem 3.. lecture sue chen physiology dah tak larat dah.. couldn't be bothered.. harap tak kuar le exam nanti.. insya-Allah.. anyway anyone reading this.. just pray for me..
sekarang ni dahle bothered by back pain.. terpaksa tampal koyok.. practicing the convergence and dermatomal rule for referred pain haha..
no more futsal for me after i get my back checked out ( clinically yah)

Batch Photo

aku ngan sarah

aku ngan didi

gambar team bola


semua muka 'stress' nak exam

p/s: click to enlarge the pictures

Deeparaya IMU

sibuk la ko kasemsuk

apa yg jeremy dok tengok tuh

apa yg yuhana dok buat tuh

maam, the lonely loner(kononnya)

aku, rahman ngan dhania, tiga bersaudara

kontrol2