Addicted to fuel... and stone temple pilots.. to bon jovi.. to radiohead.. to oleander.. to saujana.. to mishari rashid al-afasy to raihan.. to music

There's something shoko asahara-ish about their voices..

To K.Dija in BP..

Falls on me..

this was very hard to find.. the original Fuel vocalist - Brett Scallions singing falls on me..
enjoy..

p/s- him singing is almost similar to studio version quality -unless die lip sync.

Falls on Me by Fuel..

I've seen you hanging round
This darkness where I'm bound
And this black hole I've dug for me
And silently within
With hands touching skin
The shock breaks my disease
And I can breathe

[Chorus]
And all of your weight
All you dream
Falls on me it falls on me
And your beautiful sky
The light you bring
Falls on me it falls on me

Your faith like the pain
Draws me in again
She washes all my wounds for me
The darkness in my veins
I never could explain
And I wonder if you ever see
Will you still believe?

[Chorus]

Am I that strong
To carry on?
I might change your life
I might save my world
Could you save me?

My Mixed tape @ DVD versi 2

oleh sebab ada komplen dari mereka2 yg komputer slow..
this is my mixed tape.. in text form and the links..
here again.. in particular order..
enjoy...

The Beatles - Yesterday
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNnaxGFO18o&feature=player_embedded

Puddle of Mudd - Blurry ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIHSUJr5jeM&feature=player_embedded

Nat King Cole - Fly Me To the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5EUcYw96us&feature=player_embedded

Frank Sinatra - Fly Me To the Moon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C5twY6f-rU&feature=player_embedded

Nirvana - Lithium ( Live)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8y5ibUBw1k&feature=player_embedded

Nirvana - Rape Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCS14PoQc2M&feature=player_embedded

Bon Jovi - Always
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzMeG4s8AGA&feature=player_embedded

Staind - Right Here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQPfGMF80Kg&feature=player_embedded

Howie Day - Collide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eip5wOd7t8&feature=player_embedded

Al-Ghasiyah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH8jGEvRHp4&feature=player_embedded

Guns N Roses - November Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE&feature=player_embedded

Carlos Santana - Black Magic Woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPo9Gd2z6rI&feature=player_embedded

Louie Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVG80vqVfSA&feature=player_embedded

Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dwuzqF6huc&feature=player_embedded

Seether Ft Amy Lee
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqd2FJF8-h8&feature=player_embedded

Papa Roach - Scars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dIGMnzLrgA&feature=player_embedded

100 Days with Mr Arrogant - OST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAv6wIVVwl8&feature=player_embedded

Buddy Holly - Raining in My Heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLeZof1wGps&feature=player_embedded

Hijjaz - Fatamorgana
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCk1EVuh0sU&feature=player_embedded

Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bf2w5wbLwjU&feature=player_embedded

Johnny Cash - Hurt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSWTgLvxPYc&feature=player_embedded

Eminem - Sing For The Moment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4hAVemuQXY&feature=player_embedded

Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc954nt-7Io&feature=player_embedded

Scorpions - I'm Still Loving You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC_hcwXboyA&feature=player_embedded

Awie - Bernafas Dalam Lumpur
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJPchckVIo&feature=player_embedded

Queen - Another One Bites The Dust
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owJPchckVIo&feature=player_embedded

Nirvana - The Man Who Sold The World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fregObNcHC8&feature=player_embedded

Gary Jules - Mad World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4&feature=player_embedded

Frank Sinatra - My Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aht9hcDFyVw&feature=player_embedded

Goo Goo Dolls- Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHaBc0sLwE0&feature=player_embedded

Daft Punk ft Kanye West - Stronger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYTaGxOuURU&feature=player_embedded

Kris Allen - Heartless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGJGTdhbGEM&feature=player_embedded

U2 - With or Without You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzeDqRhM09w&feature=player_embedded

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22PE-l1ZQW8&feature=player_embedded

The Rolling Stones - Paint it Black - kene tgk Mick Jagger menari.. sphagetti legs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9DDpmyPZZA&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Egt1Hq4wpE - better audio

Michael Jackson - You're Not ALone
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xeq8i_michael-jackson-you-are-not-alone_news#from=embed

Gun N Roses- Don't Cry ( Original version )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctUuitkLmu4&feature=player_embedded

Bill Withers- Ain't No Sunshine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo&feature=player_embedded

Pink - So What
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaz5tGl5Yho&feature=player_embedded

Mika - Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sknDfB3pJB8

Staind - Everything Changes ( Acoustic )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9ZrbKY6xzU&feature=player_embedded

One Republic - Say ( All I Need )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRSZpV6WIuU&feature=player_embedded

Chris Daughtry - What About Now ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v-ruEvB8Jc&feature=player_embedded

Nirvana - All Apologies ( Unplugged)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmkuH1k7uA&feature=player_embedded

All American Rejects - It Ends Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QApWTB6-CM&feature=player_embedded

The Cardigans - Lovefool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9zpnLBtwwg&feature=player_embedded

Exists - Kapal Terbang Kertas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF_P7N-FRG4&feature=player_embedded

Take That - Back For Good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5cLExchcn4&feature=player_embedded

Carlos Santana - ft Steve Tyler - Just Feel Better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P81yEdJy3fo&feature=player_embedded

Andy Williams - Speak Softly Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQBW6G0hSrs&feature=player_embedded

Mr. Big - To Be With You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cCVmMLFI2U&feature=player_embedded

Wings - Sejati
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLau51dJMrc&feature=player_embedded

The Hollies - He Ain't Heavy , He's My Brother
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1KtScrqtbc&feature=player_embedded

Kawashima Ai - Bye Bye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thBIAdFY0uY&feature=player_embedded

Mr. Big - Wild World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31k_DB8KVQM&feature=player_embedded

Search - Kejora
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yFAxrqHoy0&feature=player_embedded

UB40 - Can't Help Falling in Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajp0Uaw4rqo&feature=player_embedded

Jennifer Paige - Crush
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj5S1RCUDvM&feature=player_embedded

Snow Patrol - Run
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOBs8dU4Pb8&feature=player_embedded

Midnight Hour - Running Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVDkiq6c49s&feature=player_embedded

Oleander - Halo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=web5LDTQ2-Q&feature=player_embedded

Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTy6UMC2TEU&feature=player_embedded

Sheila on 7 - Berhenti Berharap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25E_NZpQrkg&feature=player_embedded

Blues Brothers - Everybody Needs Somebody ( To Love)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAG8iD-XS44&feature=player_embedded

Sheila on 7 - Sahabat Sejatiku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G78L5kN1Ydk&feature=player_embedded

Peterpan - Kukatakan Dengan Indah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGjIQ8-0UQ8&feature=player_embedded

Elvis Presley - You'll Never Walk Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28Fsi9kwzps&feature=player_embedded

Sheila on 7- Jangan Beritahu Niah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLbq0EYPhpE&feature=player_embedded

Sheila on 7 - Waktu Yang Tepat Untuk Berpisah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRNkjzVouKM&feature=player_embedded

One Republic - All the Right Moves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrOeGCJdZe4&feature=player_embedded

Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edRnjGPJGo0&feature=player_embedded

Indigo - Istimewa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNGEca7X9dQ&feature=player_embedded

One Republic - Secrets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr3dA9LWL3Y&feature=player_embedded

Creed- One Last Breath
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-yXPPFyG0A&feature=player_embedded

Ben E. King - Stand By Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg7YoXiKn0&feature=player_embedded

One Republic - Stop and Stare ( Acoustic)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsK5sf_82rk&feature=player_embedded

Kid Rock - Only God Knows Why
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DQup4hd1_o&feature=player_embedded

P. Ramlee - Getaran Jiwa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PdoelbBKi8&feature=player_embedded

Aerosmith - Dream On
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Qd9VR1gD8&feature=player_embedded

Staind - So Far Away
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRRnU8VzOok&feature=player_embedded

Merril Bainbridge - Mouth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YIIM1EVDqg&feature=player_embedded

Ayumi Hamasaki - Still Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVCoyMGZ3ro&feature=player_embedded

Sixpence none the richer - Don't Dream It's Over
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bdOefF_tyU&feature=player_embedded

Foo Fighters - Walking After You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WATKvSg69WY&feature=player_embedded

Raihan - Iktiraf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5m0DsoJ4wY&feature=player_embedded

Sheila on 7 - Buat Aku Tersenyum
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5TtWPgZNyM&feature=player_embedded

Our Lady Peace - Somewhere out There
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15gly_our-lady-peace-somewhere-out-there_music#from=embed

All American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZg-YXZjptI&feature=player_embedded

Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fJFtYaJptY&feature=player_embedded

Lifehouse - You and Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDYUb5wWXyk&feature=player_embedded

The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6j4TGqVl5g&feature=player_embedded

Sixpence None The Richer - There She Goes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTbNTe5gZLo&feature=player_embedded

Uncle Kracker - Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jt07gzG4rfs&feature=player_embedded

Stevie Wonder - I Believe ( When I Fall In Love)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H--_-gPX3Nw&feature=player_embedded

Everly Brothers - All I Have To Do Is Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uKUH6joeEs&feature=player_embedded

Frank Sinatra - Something Stupid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoSbnAFvqfA&feature=player_embedded

Take That - Rule The World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pstY2qtTN8o&feature=player_embedded

Saujana - Permaidani
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXawfP_WKlc&feature=player_embedded

Rule the world..

lagu masa tgk zippo circus..

A weird realization, a renouncement and Isildur's bane..

it's 10.30p.m. in London.. it's 6.30 a.m. in Malaysia .. it's 9.30a.m. in Melbourne
by the time i finish writing this post - it is 1.30a.m... hahaha

i've been in London for the past 5 days
i'm starting to be homesick.. hahaha konon nak migrate aa .. poyo je.. tak makan nasik sehari pun dah withdrawal symptoms..
The winter weather is surprisingly nice for me..
suits the mood.. i'm waiting for snow..
p/s - i've not had an asthma attack yet - nauzubillah..

I don't think this is me moving a step back.. or falling back into bargaining or depression..
i'm not depressed.. i'm no longer sad.. my anger is attenuated but it's still alive and kicking
i'm not saying that i'm still stuck .. i can tell you with certainty that i am not stuck on a person who i feel has not appreciated me
but probably i've not fully moved on..
I probably tried to supress a lot of feelings initially..
supressed the sadness, supressed the anger , supressed the frustration
It will take time to probably move on from this.. there's no shortcut from this.. no running away.. but i just can't help being envious of other people - who have it made.. who have it easy.. wallahuwa'lam
I've accepted the fact of what happened..
The person who was blinded for the past 9 years won't ever be allowed back out again..
at least in the near feature.. he has been grounded and told to learn his lesson and reflect on what has happened..
The person who's taking over will probably have a lot anger in him.. but still mushy at heart.. B-o-D-o-H..
You know you're screwed when you address yourself in the third person manner..

looking at things from a distance suddenly it all feels so surreal..
I'm still pinching myself.. Unreal gile..
you know.. i still ask myself.. after the amount of time that we've spent .. the things that we went through, it 's weird that i was in a way 'discarded' so lightly with little or no consideration at all for courtesy..
I think i know the answer and MY version of the truth.. but any way it will take a lot of swallowing..
Forgiving will take an all mighty effort as even considering forgiveness is taking a lot out of me.

If you've ever read Tolkien and Lords of the Ring - you would probably know of Isildur's bane
Isildur was the wielder of the sword ,Elendil and his direct descendant was Aragorn son of Arathorn
Isildur's bane was the One Ring - He struck down Sauron with the shards of Elendil and got greedy.. he kept the ring for himself and he died due to that..
Let me tell you of my bane..
Wealth and Position has never really tempted me much.. Alhamdulilah

My bane has and probably will always be girls/ladies and crushes
I become like a fool in front of them..
I become speechless.. I get lightheaded and dizzy..
I get butterflies..
I probably become blinded..
I become a grade A weirdo.. hahahaha



I'm already on the rebound with a whole hosts of crushes.. hahaha
to name a few
Tina Fey
ZuhairahMustafaAl-Husin
Minah tepi laut
Tourist2 kat London
A lot of others that even i can't be bothered..

My whole life has been filled of crushes..
I still remember my first crush..
I was 6-7 years old kot.. i went to Turkey with my parents - she was a Turk - still have a soft spot for them .. probably 12-13 years old..
Knew her for whole of 2 days kot.. we stayed with her family for a few days..
She had short curly red hair.. green eyes.. pointy chin.. white radiant skin..
a bit tomboyish then.. hmm i wonder what happened to her..
She was the first one of many...



then i had a crush a year.. hahahha.. bunyi cam bodoh gile je..
Darjah 1 - someone had a crush on me- aznee- haha she introduced me to her grandfather masa darjah 3 - lawak2... masa tuh takut cooties lagi..
Darjah 2 - LimYingHui - we were in the same class - tapi die sessi petang.. i was in the morning session - would just see her when we changed sessions..
Darjah 3 -I can't recall having a crush on anyone during this period of time.. probably i was having a lot of fun my police and thief .. one 2 jaga..
Darjah 4- S.Deena - she was a bit of a snob sikit kot.. or seperti biasa i was insecure seperti biasa.. hahaha met her again when i want for tuition classes for PMR - i went for BM tuition of all things..
Darjah 5- Syilmasliza ,No direct contact with her at all.. tak penah cakap.. tak penah tegur..
yg bestnya masa darjah 6 die hilang.. pindah sekolah kot..
Darjah 6- CindyGoh - one of my greatest crush i have ever had on a person- she was very fluent in malay. we were good friends then , she had short black hair jugak.. lived in Taman Megah , went for tuition together.. had a brilliant smile.. very smart..

Form 1 - ada.. but my best friend and i had a crush on the same person - so i have never confessed to having a crush on her.. both of us had a crush on the same person at the time.. but she was already with another one of our friends..
Form 2- the same person.. but by then my best friend had won her over.. i was truly happy for him though.. no sarcasm intended..
Form 3 -aznee - if you notice this was the person who had a crush on me in Standard 1
Form 4- i say this name with pride - NurulAfzan- she was my superior in the LDP - a'friend' warned me from making a move for her.. a very stern warning.. it's ironic.. that 'friend' left her and married someone else.. B-o-D-o-H- BODOH... haha
Form 5- still her.. very2 smitten then..

I've never ever told this to anyone -- even to my friends.. the only person who knows this story is Ameer..
She was polite, she is a very very nice person, she was a sweet person.. not literally
I remember how i started to 'stalk' her - biasa le cara2 budak mrsm jasin at the time..
tulis nota - tinggal atas meja..
tanya tip2 utk belajar add maths.. chemistry..
haha tulis dalam JAWI - yg penting my jawi sucked and i have Ameer to tank as he can write Jawi very beautifully.. - haha thank you Ameer..
and she would ask for tips regarding english.. i remember leaving her a book from charles dickens- david copperfield.. hmm the old times.. tetiba ingat cerita kartun Tembakau..
my pen name was quite stupid
TP~
Topeng Perak - pengaruh komik kuat sangat nih..
and she was very honest with me.. she said even though i was TP to her - she already had her own - TUXEDO MASK - hmm pengaruh sailormoon tol.
God , this is so damn corny.. but i don't care anymore..
Haha she's married now.. has a kid.. i'm happy for her..

Banting - the less said the better..
IMU - hmmmmm
1st year - same person .. tried to ?start something with an old classmate but did not really hit it off.. and also due to the fact that it was not fair for her .. with me being stuck on the same person.. again and again.. in truth i tried to get closer dgn budak jasin.. but i also decided against it at the time..
2nd year - it was the same person.. but to those who may know.. i did seriously consider giving up and pursuing other 'options'.. i can't really recall and do not want to really delve into this any further..
3rd year to now- hahahahahhahahahahahahaha, it was probably a blardy prolonged crush , i probably became very blinded by my bane..
I am sorry to say that it ended on a sour note..
but let me say this..
I am a person who values my secrets..
I always keep the things very dear to me - very close to my chest..
As it is very valuable and very important to me ..
by talking about this.. by declassifying things that were important to me..
i hope that it would lose it's significance and it's sway on me
It would lose its meaning..
This is probably me trying to renounce those memories in an attempt to move forward
Iqbal is leaving the building now..

All this is and was probably monkey love..
A stupid crush.. an unrequited one as usual..

They plot , but Allah (also) plotteth ; and Allah is the best of plotters
Surah Al-Anfal- ayat 30

وَيَمۡكُرُونَ وَيَمۡكُرُ ٱللَّهُ‌ۖ وَٱللَّهُ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡمَـٰڪِرِينَ

Even though i do not like to admit this..
I plotted.. plotted what to do next.. where to go from here.. what to do.. somehow i plotted..
you know the stupid feeling of spitting up in the air? you know it's going to fall down back to your face.. but you still look at your spit gleefully.. waiting to see what will happen next..
El Stupido is in the building..
Now i leave it to God.. as HE knows what is best.. biar la DIA bagi sapa2.. asal org tuh yg ngorat aku.. malas nak fikir dah.. hahaha malas dah nak fikir pasal mimpi2..



I am sure of a few things
I will never change..
My bane will still be the same..
I will keep my secrets as usual.. much more closer than ever.
Probably i will be more experienced..
As they say once bitten , twice shy..



but one thing is for sure..
I am just so damn tired..

Despair not of the Mercy of Allah : for Allah forgives all sins : for He is Oft-Forgiving , Most Merciful - Az-Zumar - verse 53

لَا تَقۡنَطُواْ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا‌ۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

My mixed tape..

hmmm i was going through a lot of blardy songs for the past 2 months..
this is to put it into perspective .. the range of things..
this is my mixed tape in a very particular order..
Well everything snowballed after i started.. one thing led to another..
this is more of like my mixed DVD.. haha but i'm still loving the songs -- especially the acoustics one..
this is me sharing my music with my friends..
some you may like.. some maybe not so..
some may be a bit too vulgar.. but let me assure you.. most of them are very nice..
the genres are very diverse.. haha enjoy








































































Michael Jackson You Are Not Alone
Uploaded by paradixman. - Up-to-the minute news videos.







































































































if the above link doesn't work.. another linky here. sheila on 7 punya link banyak masalah tul.




Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There
Uploaded by Nate_Perro. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.